8L2C)pJJJJ IH(ȱH:=IH[H`@HcH  $ +   I/H`JLNGȄBȄF aK  haaFF  mJm# KKJ UJ )J ۈ) ;J3ȱJFȱJGJKaȄM  aaNNJFLGJL LL-KL6K&& SOFTDISK.FNT$$$$$$$ (08@HPX`hpx(0@HPX`px(08@HPX`hpI)yiyi9IIi9i*jj:jjjjjZjj*:ZjZjzjjjzjjzjJjjj{{kkkkkkkkKkKk{;kk[kk{kkKllLllllll\lllllll\_$FA` >F"/>6&SDB76 ' /SOFTDISK.SYSTEMd2-  - -SOFTDISK.MENU#-  - -SOFTDISK.QUIT(-  - ,BASIC.SYSTEM+(-  - B?- - ? &PRODOS `DaElH$?EGvѶK+`L HHLy XP LM ԠŠҠŬŮS)*+,+`F)) (*=GJFjJJA QE'+ '== `@ STSP8QSS8 m P o R(8R$$A>~>>A ~>>&??caA 888D@A||8|H< _bA``>F6926>$dA$N~6"ArA?c@~~>F2??cCA x8DX|x@}l@xx8$D|0 c3 fc 33      ! 0 }/ȅǦ 0 }/ȅ`Ƅ VL??<8e<<=LC j<<`nŭ)Jj _n`8f> Ȅ`F$>0   ʰ ̊ ) -]`8` / XL z`  100ddȰ  0H00hȩ`@<,0 ,0 <`<= *?x+>?hh`E?H>HHӦӽ*>x+?hE` 5>?=``  1$ [ 1 A ) L^`H<=<hLi<i=`])B]]%6])<-<(]! e33>0333308000333333333333333333>33>003>03333>333 33333 3333>0? ? ? c  ? 0000033333?3333?cccccc>ccccc>3333303c303? 33333333333 333333 33333 ?0 ? 0  333f0>3>33300>333>f<<f ? ?0 3333333 ?30033333>00?303333 333333>03  ??  33 >gcs3~33?3333333333ccc3???>csc~333?333 ΋i`7P  1 1ʍ+  ` ΍H  `Ǝm  ` 1<= 1`  v T  4  `  v 1 T   8 ` `I8eIeřŘ #`V   !hh8` ̊` h P }   C(` !  @ȩ.Ȍ j`T  ]] iȢ `S ])U/miDDDH for help hh n` {{q< V   (~` ` ʼn ƌȩs ƌ J7 HB pB \BR <%Ƹ ^n +J Lˀ P ʼnL You have selected Press return (i 퇐`<-move up->move downreturnselect item|remove menuHfor more helpNnever mind  V 1 AD  Ҍ  # Ҍ A A#"  D8f QL!$p    a L` LF$P C Ί lL {LPress pleaseLPress | to pause  next page`<-previous pagemCcontents menuRrun programuPprint articlezQquit SoftdiskHfor more helpNnever mind`8` ` ` More disk free space is needed!File is locked?Are you ready to quit Softdisk??Please turn on your printer?Resume printing??Insert side A of Softdisk Q ! N8H V ` !hIJ`   Lb  aLNHv h`One moment, OkCancel |||LLL||| |||aqyxxx|?~ ax (ȑnx  `'+./DEFHIN-D j!System error !Unable to read disk?Remove write protect tab from disk!Article is missing!(# `{|~  x{8`x V  Ƅ (w 2  y , Ì ,v Ì P A8: 膹 AH A h L+'04 i7 gBLÌ d >L|z Lˀ` '|*H ` x! 5! 5x"…ex g8qȄkfeeLzz q `qȱi VLz ˀ  ր{D~ eȱe Z E E~ H ƌhJ @ X # (| D}L!BCBBE XECL |{| 6L L  L9 | `  ցhh|0 zw"H!H` P ` N fhh0x&H%H`  yC LH $pLɆLL9zw! ` 8}q~i`z |  Șe淊|~)@eȱe` w  L|yysygyOyy?xxOOOgOsOyO|~ VƳ : ى`|`䳐 :L! ى`````y`)_ 乐$` y "#w#ʆw$w%L p| $0P `p W`, )y W``   ' `I` *,Tưư` V@  @$,U`w$# v"w#`8`乐 5ʰ$`8fy 5jEyy y $0$y`Ly  5 x% 5" 5#yx$ix# 5% 5x& 5$HH`` (ſ L\`ɀL @`>e< `aE?=@`)>ȱ`>ȱ`>`<`)<@ LɀL 沢<`e>eb `acE=?`)<`<0`b>й &< ꉠb`=?` /M N M rM M` LA/  [)/݀`m _`<>х=`? L s``х? Lѝ uҥWҭ` N MM& N NB8&` Nj 3`8`/ )  `) ) íJ) / X`LI` ̏ eL&< =>? L`<5=>? L`L`@`>>< L`  EL /  CXoώXLX Ư6 Ȳ.    V C !LˀȌ @8ȱ ` & & " &ƞ & DL BLƝӥ `梥` H hhh` ) &8 栝OF `, Page OF'Lz  Lˀ ! sP&<>BP=S?хC , ʑL` '@ 5' @2L !  @   W` LˀgҥXҥYҭ ʑ L Z L  1 ,  @    _L`Ȧ Ȥ qLƌ`p.  |p Ae Akfh A<&&h i@`̎)A<niel`a<@ȩ@Ȅ@emlm`s V & ` At o0kOnP A ~  M l !`w !8`?i}@I8eii pQjMsi}@jri  s@@I8eiijrr`rssFj@r 9iei@iq 8L.0F@j q s`r4@0I<<(ʆ>>@<>@<`8@0lem<=>n ى=`<`>`q V Ҍ L!Ȑ)_ XLE neon`kn gihjelfm` 鍩rsp`q`q`q`q`F`RHLH`  "',덍) rr`JJJJ@p9? 1ʅ˹v= e V J% ꉠʑb`eʐ䳐m H)uu AjAjhzA~I@A<=   = > 0 =>L!b`IJ"<䳐@AJJȆ=(F`־ؾپھ׾` bɄ KDEF vLl v lL bKɍKL?` w  vLl@$݅3`(l8L3LX>(Ƀ,`3,G0]ɾ g` H`پ_پ p _پ׾`>( p۾m׾) W)ʩ@`ɾ>(O puȾ ɾ-O ]c־Jjjj `O>0O l PODEF޾ p ޾ p($ذ v (0 ( L?ԦʚLeةީa s  lL b,FLg,DL,C0$3 >@ Ɉ 3ɾꩈL(3ɾ;Ƀ B94 l% bʽ  ՚,S` H EH06172839h` v97L75v^a ?/( va?LLLɍ$?`?a ɍɥAH93827160hH46576879h`,C bL ɍ b w,S0 @ lLޭBYL 8!9 詍` "  à4"/pŠϠŠà͠ӠàԠŬ*,-./0123456789:;<=>JJH !h穖tp% ;"Z/݀>">"' 1" 7"5).莀/ ;" " 6" >" 1"6"$ "g"" !"""""IzLLG ASTARTUP$#   / XXύX?klmnÍoL) "6L'?"(0`6708" = ***)<Fby LҠؠӠ΢ϠԩҠŠƠԠԠŠӢɯϠҠůȠԠĠ  L8933LΞAAJL ةޘг uv $ 8LƞaЌ>?@`>?@`B8` K  춼LK ҟ ҟ ( KK`HJJJJ8`HK)` #hhLJپھ pHJh` D!hgt}~p `~t}p8n~ni}tpi~~tso8pinii>j?k̈́>~|p|Ii||̈́ l - `>i>) F з8` # `l׾ XYW0V)4W׾ؾ_`)0%I0)3]8X^YȰ8` 8` p Ⱦɾʾ8`پھW)@%ZȾ pSԩ p`S pLjÍ FN I 9 : ׾hؾ  p hgͺ칾`LٷV)jC mMjà Lp `VJJ°L9Lp з)< L з L緭W)8VJưϥ3 켼 `F`4W)ɐ/XYjV  kimljn` pg׾mȾXhؾmɾYtѮȾɾ aYX`8gSL/id /`H) hJJJJ ɺi` M  ` ת.8 `O`S  AI-L9 ᪰B C VW>m>` _m8injkiljo풼i>?Ek?>Q>> L> \/ e>>?́?ޱ>ȥpnG @p;G=po:Q>>>̀ `` \> ̀ `e>>?́?>?Emn(>e>ȱ>e?>Q>ؠ> ie>>?`|;}=:<~:<=;`||m};>:8o>oȑ>ppȑ>> :op`G DK1׾ؾ  p p ٷ H rh(`׾ؾ` : ߭׾t8퍼mؾŰ펼t폼 L28` ˌھپLp k V)@W0!XY X6Y7` YX`X:Y;τ<:: <`:8` e eվ'OV)Jj зf Ja l + ѱ:ji Ĥ Ƀ B ,  簰 ` l])Y 񩢍`Ⱦɾ0Ǿ pBuHUSTON!- ' $'-COVER.GAMES.TAs - - ?-COVER.GAMES.GH -  - ?(TBIRDS.TO- - ?&TBIRDSR H- - ?,TWIT.BDS.PAC_ - @- ?+TWIT.SHAPESfLLwLLL) `8` ԠŬLLʮq$6,⨁ K6, VtI=v!gNVt Vt  lg~TV     T[fouu~ՠٯ* PWN*]ĿNTz @n6VC/+A>@I5gN Oz @n[Dz @nd0,~z @`$仫@v$⩔,C[B?I>孓`仫6VtCicQĿUKqtVt Nֵ#ح#׮2}q :IC@@ -!S    !C- !ABELSDFRV@@ !$(19@EüϠž(+@ABCDEFGHIKLMNPSsƬƀ#(ZZV4G_0=( A P FjL\5p-e9ABSAVERIFYBLOADELETEBYECATALOGOPENWRITEXECREATEFRESTORENAMEBRUNLOCKCHAIN#FLUSHREADPOSITIONOMONPR#PREFIXCLOSEAPPEND6D(!쫂8 ( 8о(־Ǿ,G 8`_`W)H־Jjjjh p̭ fLᶢǾ ת..8 ۭ (8mȾȾmɾɾʾiʾ` Lpl8l:/,s`\"׾پӾؾھ pD`־ǾY׾ؾOW)ݩȾɾʾ pD`8`W)CB) 5W) =)W)@! pZ}ȾȾ󰹩 p` ־ǾҾ,G 8`׾ؾ f p vۥs׾tؾE` `޾Lp h־Ҿ,G0^W)TP) ecfdپھ׾ؾӾ p$c d pccddީ 8`ȾɾʾNfne}ȾȾI>Ie f`8` P־ǾҾ,G0C f=W)_`:_`蹀:`V)8`MN; b;`;C b N8` G)̀#:蹀:`V)R ޾,N0MHhHh p' L,N HCNh`M`M N N `9V) ` V) ޾ p`  (8` 8`8`(W)`_V)Ij!؍Í`_ FjЭW)`_ Ͼ pH Lh8`jGMоM  G)p pY)ικ`lP *,N!ǾȾɾʾ pǾ~H h8`8`,C  8` ȾɾM$ mHݓǾ phϾ pH Lh8`Ͼо־ǾҾ_` 볩Ӿ pW) "LEC`C )莼 з l6 7= /& /8Hh /` 6Y׾ؾ+پھ p|پɾʾ`HV)jh츾$-#Ͼ p о־޾Ǿ` 8` 8`ɾ)ɾ̸ ɾɾ0miȾ - `- ?,TWIT.BOXTEXTj- `- ?TWIT.SHADOWl- - ?UNPACm- @- ?/PREZ.DAY.QUIZ.Tog- - ?-PREZ.DAY.QUIZr - - ?&T.PREZ~K- $- ? /5ksF%R2 D s COVER.GAMES.G*&Welcome to the thrilling Presidents' Day edition of Softduck! To make your life as complicated as possible, our menu and text presentation system works with either the keyboard, joystick, mouse, sm  Kg~~>2~csss~>222ssr?~~??3332232ɢ貘Ȫ袨ames Weiler -- End of Softduck #76 -- -- See you next month! -- *&[This page left unintentionally blank.] D.TYPE, BLOOD.TYPE, FONT, COLOR, SEX, AGE, YES) *& Next Month:  We unveil our plans for the sequel to the greatest role-playing game of all time: Lizardly, the Legend of Ligament. If you thought Lizardly I was great, wait till you see Ligament! J. This is the advanced language we use to write Softdisk, itself. A few simple sample commands: To display subliminal messages, SUBLIMATE (SUBSCRIBE NOW!, .004 SEC) To print a character on screen: PUTCHAR(CHARVAL, X, Y, XBYTE, YBYTE, SIN(X), COS(Y), BLOAORTRAIN is designed for use in engineering applications--specifically, model train sets: PUT (ON.TRACK) WEST.YOUNG.MAN: JUICE := *^3 WHILE LIONEELSPEED < c CALL NOCRASH GO WEST.YOUNG.MAN: *&UGH is an acronym for Universal Graphics Handlermicro programmers. My favorites from among the dozens of languages on the disk are COBOOL, FORTRAIN and UGH. COBOOL is a business-oriented language that does only Boolean operators: LET LOSS BE DOUBLE OR NOTHING LET VACATION BE NOT POUGHKEEPSIE *&F lunch room and have a good laugh! *&[This page left intentionally blank.] *& On the Editor's Duck  An interesting-looking product drew my attention last month: the Interactive Artists' Language Package: the complete set of language tools for ng in Softduck #76:  Welcome to our special gala APRIL Presidents' Day issue! Look carefully and write down every time you see anything related in any way to the presidency. Then send us the list. You won't win anything, but we will post your list in thetextfiles! DISKUSSION Reader forum with Professor What's-his-name. *&ODDVERTISEMENT Get on track with the BackPack KnapSack ComputerRack! DEBITS Who's Irresponsible. &-- End of Constable of Tents -- *&Duckovery by James Weiler Appeari bring back that Silver Cow, baby! WALK INTO THE DOT Walk into the white dot. Do not walk into the orange dots. *&PERIODICAL TABLE This famous table is now available in computerized form. NO-LINERS The berth of a new feature: "No-Liner" EXECutable GE You are here. TWITTERING BIRDS Learn how birds sound. PRESIDENTS' DAY QUIZ Learn what jerks we are. *&THE ARGENT BOVINE Introducing...PENULTIMA I: (from Original Systems) Enter this thrilling parody of the famous Origin Systems Ultima series and@BCDEFoke signals, or morse code. Unless you're a new user you will probably need to press H twice and read the help section again and again before you begin. And now.... Read on! *&President's Day Softduck #76 Constable of Tents: April 1, 1988 COVER PA߿חs>ͷ̳̳޷̳ԕԵ𸜟yyAAAA@̧̳ʷŕGIJKLMNP Grandma's farm in Michigan, walking back to the river, breathing the cool air that hung over the fields, listening to birds. Yes, many of them were the very same birds in this program. *&I'll never forget the majestic Chicken Hawk. High it flew, ci  *&by Karl Bunker and Bryan Vekovius  With Twittering Birds, tutorials reach the pinnacle of ease-of-use. Simply decide which bird makes the song you hear. A child could figure it out. Speaking of child, I remember when I was a kid, on myrƕƝƙƑ̝đՕđđđđđđđĕőՕԕՕŕՑՑŕߕĕđőԵԕđőđőęՕŕŕԔĀАurߟǓߗ߿őԑןՁ٦ϟǟǟϟ췿ǟߟ߀đđđđđ֑Ƒ~~śԝ߿ƕppܕԑŗOON~ߔ٥ǝ噥ꪊ䉏Ԉဏ322?OFOON~~2rğggff&тՕđĕԑ䗖ӦēʒđđőǓǓrrz33333333sss322rs3s322>̳ϻϷϿϾξξ᳀򩣉ɥ᪨∢⪢ꪊ狣￿@Oo߿ዦ몊̢߷γ߿߿̾؀㿧ő쀸Ġ󮳬Ȣ̴܀󼳿⏿̳㊳rcling, circling, gliding downward, a glory of creation in its descent. With one delicate motion, it made a slow, graceful turn. Then it smashed into my Grandma's picture window. Twittering Birds may not give you a copious knowledge of bird calls or bri the quiz, Press":"'S' to Study the birds again, or "k"if you want to sneak out of the class-""room, and get back to SOFTDISK.";G$:G(G$):G271260G13930: "QUIZ" G$"S"G$"s"3303000510 BIRD #1 &2:W20:H3:20001A$"Twittering Birds":85O32,1:33,39:34,1:35,23[:::"Okay! By now you're (hopefully) well-":"educated on the subject of bird-songs,""and are all set to take the quiz!"=15:"Press to take19:"(Press to quit)";G|"The bird now singing is the . . ."e49168,0: CLEAR KEYBOARD RANDOMLY SELECT BIRD R(5)540,600,660,720,780 PRESSED?(49152)12827400X1:Y1:W40:H24:2000:49168,0X11:Y23:Y:2:" ":RMX3:Y16:W36:H7:2000OWRNG0:"Press when you think you've"T:"learned enough to take the quiz."^:"Press to begin; ";cG$:G$(13)İ3000:355h2500r21:y lousy."ASC$(3)"Really awful.":SC$(4)"Totally terrible.""SC$(5)"Completely wretched.":SC$(6)"The worst! Give up!", IF IIGS ON FAST, SLOW DOWN 6(1)192SP(49206):SP127Ĺ49206,SP128:SL1;333@ BEGIN 6J33,40:Y15 Bird":BD$(8)"Bowing Svenforsven"c BD$(9)"Redwinged Walleyed Platypus":BD$(10)"Unphleasant" BD$(11)"Ticketed Walker Jay":BD$(12)"Rentatux Penguin" BD$(13)"Rednecked Yawller":BD$(14)"Uhtur Poppycock" SC$(1)"Not so good.":SC$(2)"Prett0:233,102:0:1) R(R)((1)R)16 BD$(NB)z BD$(1)"Lilly-Livered Searsucker":BD$(2)"Blue Nosed Bamboozle" BD$(3)"Spiflicated Strumpet":BD$(4)"Carrier Snodgrous" BD$(5)"Tufted Regret":BD$(6)"Patched Spackle"$ BD$(7)"Gold Minah PG. 3 b nX017:A:768X,A::173,48,192,136,208,4,198,0,240,7,202,208,246,166,0,208,239,96 x BLOAD STUFF, SETUP FOR DRAWS (4)"BLOAD UNPAC,A25856":HEX $6500 (4)"BLOAD TWIT.BDS.PAC,A$6C00" (4)"BLOAD TWIT.SHAPES,A$6600" 232,oftdisk is not Public Domain.":85W N:A$"Please Respect the Author's Rights.":85s OX3:Y20:W36:H3:2000 PA$"Please Wait While Loading Files..":85 S100 U V21((A$)2):A$ W c SETUP STUFF d LOAD CHIRP SOUND INTOQSTUVWXYZ[\]. ( BOSTON, MA 02130 E 2:D$(4):NB14:NO. OF BIRD NAMES a 7X11:Y2:W20:H3:2000g < AA$"Twittering Birds":85 CX2:Y6:W38:H18:2000 D::A$"by":85 F:A$"Karl Bunker":85 I:A$"Copyright 1988":85 J::$ KA$"S!30478:(21):::"WAIT.."3S0:SC0:QU09t(4)"BRUNTWIT.BOXTEXT,A$6100":48688,(0):48689,(1)(4)"BLOADTWIT.SHADOW,A$6000" X1:Y1:W40:H24:2000 TWITTERING BIRDS  BY KARL BUNKER  321 S. HUNTINGTON AVEng back your favorite childhood memories. Then again it might! &-- End of Twittering Birds text -- -- Press R to run it -- WRNGĒ0:1190,30103:187,15:0:687,15?:840:880[D3:687,15:0:187,15aNpX BIRD #2 bWRNGĒ4:16:11255,55:0l7:2237,7:5:7239,5v840:8807:7239,5:5:2237,7 BIRD #3 WRNGĒ0:48:1121,86:0#7:37,101:4:89,941840:880L7:89,94:4:37,101Ra BIRD #4 WRNGĒ0:32:1180,100:03:484,65:0:975,65840:8803:975,65:0:484,65  BIRD #5 WRNGĒ0:32:11230,125:0 7^`abcdgggg  ~|O?sL _uwwssP~`ՀՀ  Quu}u]UW  _-}UWwttuG_ )À} ]UU]QW $ð|uW wtEWUUwCp||}U]]]U]]]Uuup|  _wwwEEwwwDTWGGwww?/ +*/j+** ,j;+**;: ߀$??ookkkn..."..nj/?Հ Հ /+: ; 8L;+;bss׀ 0ü ~.jnjkn. n.njj*.jz~x{x  +;; K;;; Kk{k{~~~?20:W40:H5:2000 & buzz! A X130:BZ(16336):G 2:0,R2:768::$ WINDOWBOX!! X = VAL ( LEFT$ (BO$,2)):Y = VAL ( MID$ (BO$,3,2)):W = VAL ( MID$ (BO$,5,2)):H = VAL ( RIGHT$ (BO$,2))24576,X,Y,W,H:(32)1 1,108:0,0:230,64:25856: PIC TO PG. TWO X1:Y3:20003A$"Would you like to quit? Y/N:":85;G$SG$"n"G$"N"1125tG$"Y"G$"y"İ3000:1245 *** EXIT *** 49168,0:SLSP(49206):SP127Ĺ49206,SP128(4)"BYE" REPEAT CALLX1N1:0,R1:768:X1NG271200#G$"S"G$"s"ī330-300071155D QUIT?`X2:Y15:W38:H9:2000"Your quiz score indicates that you""can't tell a bird song from the""sound of a motorcycle being chain-":"sawed in half." X3:Y20:W36:HS1D[S6QUQU1:QU3A$"Are you STILL playing?!?":85:1125V`A$SC$(S):85reX3:Y16:W36:H7:2000j"Press to try again;"t:" to give up;"~:"'S' to study the birds some more: ";G$G(G$):G13950 540,600,660,720,78048:"Press "S=G$:G$(13)İ3000:1085oBX1:Y1:W40:H24:2000DX11:Y2:W20:H3:2000FA$"Twittering Birds":85GX8:Y8:W26:H4:2000LSCSC1:A$"Score: 0 out of "(SC)" --":85VS6S(A-N)";7G$:G$"A"G$"N"G$"a"G$"n"1027A3000K1022gG$"a"G$((G$)32) WRRRRRONG AGAIN, HOSE-HEAD  2500A$"Wrong!"::85I1100:BZ(49200):$X1:Y20:W40:H5:2000:"That was the . . .".R(5)rds Quiz"'X2:Y5:W38:H16:2000KI1NB:"<"(64I)">-"BD$(I):c QUESTION & ANSWERX2:Y21:W38:H3:2000"Press to hear a bird-song. ";G$:G$(13)İ3000:995840:RC1 :3:"Which bird did you just hear? IRD IZZAT?? (zBDBD1:BDNB1BD1=BD(G$)64890Q23:WRNG1Ģ222:" ";:2:BD$(BD); QUIZ TIME! WRNG1X1:Y1:W40:H24:2000X8:Y2:W26:H3:2000 10:"Twittering Bi:5238,89:4:10235,87(*840:880G47:10235,87:4:5238,89M>wH CHIRP!! (THANKS TO BEAGLE BROS.) MRC1İ1500:RC0:RN2(1)6:R2(1)66\N1(1)6:R1(1)66^X1N1:0,R1:768:fX1N2:0,R2:768::p WHICH BWw}}GDt  ?WQ]QQ]Uuuu} |Ԁ' |1~ ̌ ﯿ￿ À *u_U_ +}_W)-*-M7m)-;?.M-;??--;?.-޷RIIII--?*-*-MIIIIII??*-MII-m)M-;??7mI-mII)M5;?;?.M-mIII --;?;.--MIIII-;?7R --m:w)7;m)-??7RIIIIIIIIIIII)>?--5???*---->?????------5??????*--------------------->?????egh----;?7m)>7--;?.-7RI -*--w)-RII ---m:?N-m:?Nm:????-mI -m)>??;.MmIII -;.-M5;N-5RIIII-------m???*MIIIIII-;??--??---???7m:?N-m:?ۛmII)??w)-MI)->;?N--m)->?w)--->?R m:?.--??7m)-?;?NmI?w)?w)?w L,q%RII 5w)w)?ۛ--mI m:??wImI5;???NI)-Mm)>?NRIII -mI???wI --m??wI-m:?;?????ۛ----mII)------>?????wIIII)-----??--??*-RIIII 5?*-?*-MI:??*-----M;??N ---m??RII5?75*-MII?;.MI)-MI:??7mI /W~zk ;#"+;.~ax ??/oookkjjjn.nhz& ook*::++#"::"":;:""kz~jz' ojhhnjzz~~. 8&~  $߀ ]\ED\T]]]}yyy`   U wuuwWWWwwwuuuwWWw}  ~uu?A|'A?Cp|  ~xyx ";:/zꮮ~=zn.nnnjkj nhhjk/?<~z{k+ ;:;"/4* nj.j/aa$ | " ꪮπ#몀 CU}WU 5Uu_UUUw ￿8u]U#_WwwuuuwwwwwU  W_UW_W _Bu]QW7σ}U wuwTtu_?'U ]Qu]uWp|C"̌|}uWWwuWwwwGDTuwpp|" WWQ]]QQ]]]Uu}QQu% ̌ð|ÏOwwEGwtDWWwtt}}/ ||8 ̀̌B??///;;::: K; :+?׀ ߀ ?oj n.b2."b"n"sss Հǀ j:;:;+*;;;* ;8+;;:k{~x|{ ׀ j.nnNnn.nn.zzzjnjzz~~~gg ׀  |s??????????????????????????.-------------------------->?????????????????????????*-----------M --------------5????????????????*-----------MIIIIIIII-----5????????????????*------------MIIIIIIII -----5?????;?????????????N-------------mIIIIIII -----5???????????????????????????w)-------------M--------------5????????????????????????????w)--------------------------->????????????????????????np your encyclopedias, and if you don't have any, BUY SOME. You will need them. Get the library's Reference Desk on the phone. Study Heidegger and Hobbes, Calvin and Voltaire, Plato and Socrates. Visit a guru. This one is TOUGH. *&If you're some k  g*&by Bryan, Jim, and Tom  In consultation with Louisiana State University, the Mensa organization, and Zeke's Bar and Grill of Poughkeepsie, New York, we have come up with the most intense, difficult, and heinous quiz ever devised. Get out Ȅɀ)0;()JJ & & f)гГЏ` g RP g RP g RP g RP "(!#?2 [$ ʩ $m [ J ӭ$ʊm [ ʩ [$ m!"m#`㱹0>3>3333300>333>3?><>33>03333  3333 !3?33333333333>33>003>0<3333>333 33?3!3 3333>0? ?~>>>>~```>>>????3;;333?33333333333333???3;33333?333 000003333333?!3?33333333333333333333;.33333>00? 33333333333 3333?3!33 33333 ?0?>>>>>>>>?ik 666???? >< 33 33 >>       ?  ??  >> 0 3;373  30?3003??003333?3 333333>03     0 30 XN6NWRU@ TP`HNɈ $$ $ɍGUɠ?%J) +%j )* * (je$*h-H...8K&m1'=&OH**2?hIhQ**O+i+$$! $%%#"%Nh`|yy??.-------------------------->?????????????????????????N------------------------5???????????????????????w)-------->???????N------5??????w)----->????N---5??w)->ind of genius, an ultra-intellectual, or really, really smart then you MIGHT get through the first question before your brain overloads and you become a mindless vegetable. If you're not, then you're in no danger whatsoever. Most of the Softdisk employee(AN)". "QU$(1):8300%A#CACA10C#16200;F#13000FP#11000L':X'Y2:X2u$'"Too bad. Wrong! "%'QU$"Q: "QU$(0):X2:8300&'X2:QU$"A: "(AN)". "QU$(1):8300)'16100.'130008'11000*:*Y3:9:"Press a key. (W37:0o SP$""+q 1:(QU$)W8340;v ZW111 (QU$,Z,1)" "ĺSP$(QU$,Z1):QU$(QU$,(QU$)Z):SP$" ":W33:8305  SP$QU$ (#:2#Y2:X2<#"You got it right! "=#QU$"Q: "QU$(0):X2:8300>#X2:QU$"A: "::8020,A$(27)A$"Q"A$"q"14000LA$"1"A$"5"ĺ(7);:8070W12020]:p(A$)AN9000{10000 W37:0 1:(QU$)W8240 ZW111 (QU$,Z,1)" "ĺ(QU$,Z1):QU$(QU$,(QU$)Z):8205& 0 QU$: l :KEKE1#KE30İ15000:8020>CU$"_"CU$" ":8035YCU$" "CU$"_":8035aA$|A$"S"A$"s"ĢY3:X3A$"S"A$"s"SOSO1:SO2SO0:"Sound off. ":PA1300::8020 A$"s"A$"S"SO1ĺ"Sound on. ":PA1300gCO2:Y2lI15 qX2LvIANQU$(I)". "QU$(1):8300:7050uQU$(I)". "QU$(CO):8300:COCO1:32,0:33,40?@:JX32:Y323:KE0TY3:X3^"Your response: ";cCU$(8);hI130r(49152)1278090 | zX118:Y14:W20, QU$QU$(0):QAQA13 0T Y1:X1:"Question #"QA":":l X1:(QU$)W6100| IW111 (QU$,I,1)" "ĺ(QU$,I1):QU$(QU$,(QU$)I):6030  QU$ W X: ]Y214:X22:32,1:33,38bAN((1)51) 04020 QU%(N1),QU$(6)3 I1N1:QU%(I)I:r I1N1:Q%QU%(I):R((1)N11):QU%(I)QU%(R):QU%(R)Q%: QN1:CU$"_":CA0:QA0  : (4)"readt.prez,r"QU%(QN) SH% I206 50000:QU$(I2)IN$::(4) QS1 o p:Pressa key"; 16368,0< (16384)128U(1):3069L 16368,0:U  QN0s 34,0:35,24:32,0:33,40y  : P1772:P2769:C114300:SO1 QN0 34,0:35,24:32,0:33,40 (4)"opent.prez" (4)"readt.prez,r0":N1 QN : (4)"BRUN PREZ.PAK"= (4)"BRUNPREZ.CGEN,A$3800"Y 48688,(0):48689,(1)x (4)"BLOADPREZPLOT.15604" (4)"BLOADPREZSHAPES.LNK,A$6100" (4)"BLOADPREZ.SOUND,A14300" (4)"BLOAD PREZ.SHADOWBOX,A$6000" 24576,33,12,7,4:1:"qstuvwxyz{|3:0,1:62454 * 0:32,0:33,40_ 2:1:" Presidents' Day Quiz (c)1988 Softdisk"p 32,1:33,38v | : 12000 P%1:SH%8SH%11SH%15SH%19P%2 0,0:1,97:2,24:3,P%:4,0:5,SH%:15604: I09:Y2I:X2:38): (21)0.P1772:P2769:C1143007SO1A 3000T:34600:4000^1000dd:nn5000xx10002000600070008000QSQS1:QSN2QNQN1:QNN1100QNN1630001200014063000: s are quite safe. &-- End of President's Day Quiz text -- -- Press R, if you dare, to run it -- Q) to quit."++A$:A$"q"A$"Q"630001 +7.:E.BOX24576L.0_.BOX,1,3,16,10s.BOX,18,3,23,10.BOX,1,13,40,12/2:2QU$QU$(6)232,18:33,212Y1:1:W20:0:8205232,1:33,382BOX,X220,Y25,15,321:"Correct: "(CAQA100.5)"%".232,1:33,3846j6Y3:X3:"Hit ESC to quit, any other goes back.";616368,0:KP%0:2546I238:Y3:I:" ";6(16384)128KP%1:I386Y3:I:" ";6I6KP%140106255 7K$((16384)128les like beans. Well, at least WE'd be at peace. 2 The blik: (all of these.) never has more than two bumbas. stands to the left of everything. nibs whenever it can. should not be petted, unless with a large, gimballing gelracket. Nev}1 The easiest way to achieve world peace is to: get everyone to buy Softdisk. make everyone speak one language -- Portugese. tell all of THEM to act like US. live in peace, harmony, and utter boredom. serve other vegetab25 A$"y"A$"Y"ĺ(4)"CLOSE":(4)"PR#0":GA$"n"A$"N"63080V(4)"BYE" answering "CA2JX2:"out of "QA" questions."WT:X2:"Hurry back now, Y'hear?"^Y3:X32:"Would you like to try again?";hCU$(8);mI130r(49152)12763150|CU$"_"CU$" ":63080CU$" "CU$"_":63080A$,?P1,P:P2,D:C1:lPQ8(184):Q9(185):Q8(Q9(Q8244))25643,IN$:: l݅ ,ՠ `r:(4)"close""12000'Y1:X1:"Bye, now!",Y26X2:"Thank you for taking the quiz."@X2:"You scored "(CAQA100.5)"%,):16368,0" 7K$(27)ī63000;7Y3:X3:38);:8010:254:I1423:I:2:38):I:P200:D10:16300:I1423:I:2:38):I:255:>D230?P2551505 ?16300? ?H?D230f?P1502555p?16300z???SO0ıer pet a nibbling, two-bumbaed blik without your trusty gelracket. 3 The mean divisor of e when logarithmically divided along the positive asymptote is: k, k being any arbitrary constant. 2 4.4454 x 10^-23 gMeMm/hc (-1)^-2 Science is wonderful, ain't it? 4 The main reason no one cares is: quizzes. apathy. lethargy. pudding. no one cares. "Quizzes" is the answer. Ter has a dead-pan expression. 16 This man has: tiny little pig eyes. just eaten margarine. all your cash. to go to the bathroom. a stupid-looking crown. This pig-eyed king just ate some oleo (paid for with your cash) and n15 Zeke is the rancher's "cookie". This means: he has his home on the range. he goes good with milk. he's a chocolate chip off the ol' block. his job don't amount to a hill of beans. he has a nose for food. When cooking, he nevpoliceman: uses Kleenex the size of throw rugs. is Jimmy Durante's brother. just had his toe stepped on. is feeling blue. sings in the Department's Glee Club. He keeps them in the trunk of his patrol car. ny little tweezer-things". keeps his stethoscope in the freezer. is Bob Hope's brother. is listening to a conversation in the next room. faints at the sight of blood. Another fine graduate of the "M.D. by Mail" correspondence school. 14 This nts to be president. has a lot of in-breeding in his family. invented the famous grape juice. is a merciless tyrant. See the cover of this quiz. 13 This doctor: calls the forceps "those fun stealing all the toilet paper. burping "La Traviata" in its entirety. Unless it is the Dalai Llama. 12 Our managing editor, Jim Weiler: wants his picture everywhere on Softdisk. wa, is 5. 11 The major no-no at a cocktail party is: bringing a llama. spiking the punch with vinegar. wearing a chicken suit.10 2 + 2 = ... around 5. 4. 7 - 3. 0. 14i + e. In this case, as we've rounded 2.49 off to 2 for easier representation: 2.49 + 2.49 = 4.98 which, rounded9 The best way to anger a bull is to: be abominable. be noble. be likeable go comfortable. go annoyable. Bulls dislike exploding. 8 To win The Silver Cow, you must: bribe the author. find the key. face the horrible dragon of Doom. locate the Pool of Fate. find that which was lost. It couldn't hurt. d you see the cat eating pickles? It's a sour puss. It's something you NEVER see. Whose cat did they get? Are you tipsy? Yes, on the beach -- it was Sandy Claws. We ain't lion to you. , the wealthy nephew. Arthur Cumberbund, the cook. Bill Guillermo Wilhelm, the chauffeur. Martha VanDerVeer, the distraught wife. You read the last chapter first, didn't you? 7 Ditheir similarity in Spanish. 6 Who did it? The butler. James Robinsonhe proof is in the pudding. 5 Why? Because. Therefore, Q.E.D. Why not? What? No one knows. The clue was ow he needs a visit to the necessary room. 17 If you saw these on your plate in a fancy French restaurant, you should: eat them: they're on the menu. wipe them off your menu and plate. brush them onto the floor and ignore them. feed them to the maitre d'. Let them be; they won't eat much. "Ants is good food." 18 The creature peeking delicately over the rim of the top hat is: yummy. three hours early for the show. a tick magnifi>$> k>)+?e $($>e i L=`) ? e =e =L? $(,048< $(,048"&*.26:>#'+/37;?#'+/37;? $(,048< $(,048"&*.26:>#'+/37;?#'+/37;? $(,048<  eHȱeh ?\==>?]==>)L= I>Y= ?8 =$ =LT=ȱ ȱii$ = LT= iihh` k>)+?e^== (`$^==` I>>$- - ?$PU.G-  - ?PU- - ?COWPU- L- ?.THE.SILVER.COW&H- M- ?&PU.PAK- `- ?WALKINTOTHE..T- - ??.PREZPLOT.15604 - <- ?PREZ.SOUND- - ?PREZ.SHADOWBOX- - ?)PREZ.CGEN- 8- ?.PREZSHAPES.LNK*"- ?- ?(PREZ.PAK 7- `- ?$PU.T walking. full-contact tiddly winks. It's really pretty obvious, isn't it? coming next! 25 This symbol symbolizes: man's inhumanity to man. underwater fruit juggling. uphill slalom skiing. free-style synchronizedpress member. We don't know why. Maybe she already has a tan. 24 This is: surreal, man! a mortar and pestle. a crank-start yo-yo. a mortar and ammo. just another stupid question. Hey dude, wait till you see the one that's 23 The strange-looking woman standing in side the second ring is: wearing a bikini over her wetsuit. almost as tall as a palm. Mrs. Captain Hook. on vacation with all your cash. not an American Ex22 These belong to: Who knows? Ward Cleaver. Clark Kent. Penfold. Softy. Who cares? Just continue with the quiz, OK? the Beaver are both: cooking pots. butcher Knives. ladles. New Year's noise makers. (Hint hint) "Cleavers" Yes, cooking pots. I name all my utensils after 50's sitcom characters. of the dozens of dollars they get each month. they are shackled to their disks. they are shackled to their desks. they are shackled to each other. they're lame-brained idiots. Really, it's the salary that keeps them there, not the shackles. 21 Ward and t to play with. his collar loosened. to play the piano. Dogs have simple wants. 20 Softdisk's employees stay on the job because:ed 90000 times. not very bunny. a mexican hareless. The poor rabbit is the primary ingredient in Top Hat Hasenpfeffer. 19 This dog wants: a singles win at Wimbledon. to escape from this stupid quiz. a ca$(,048"&*.26:>#'+/37;?#'+/37;?((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP`$ꪺ~~ ϑ{|coY&ŕ}_?[?Ow  6~A???????????$2} iUHwk3 !:<6 Ƞ Ā貨ŕ  ԝđŁ€0>3>3333300>333>3?><>33>03333  3333 !3?33333333333>33>003>0<3333>333 33?3!3 3333>0? ?|  |``3;;333?33333333333333???3;33333?333 000003333333?!3?33333333333333333333;.33333>00? 33333333333 3333?3!33 33333 ?0?? 666???? >< 33 33 >>       ?  ??  >> 0 3;373  30?3003??003333?3 333333>03     0 30 0818380PRW@U`T `)8 JHH)8 r% 88 e$e88.88.88.80)i8m88H2?hIHh8M8ehh ? L((((PPPP g RP g RP g RP g RP "(!#?2 [$ ʩ $e [  J ڥ$ʊe [ ʩ  [$ !!!"e#`é0`:1QI  ۞Òőđđđđđđđǒˎۮ రB ***( őđđ??AUUUTPđđđ ap* sLCL 3 3 3L3L3L3  |i4 GXl|Fy/p``x01   >< D   18<  @ `p`ppp ``@ >>> ~ |xp ~ _ vBljtxxAddp @ @ 'O?? ?Gpg>? z8 >|y{ h p_ |||x~xxxppp@   |<,owzxxpa#dcd?OaTUUDax?Gadddddd`@|~A0H0L3L3L3L3L3L3L3L3l3L3L pp`fyvy~}~ffffffffff{|{|{|{|{|{|{|{|{|{|{xA gggggggggggggggg  GWW_'w?Gggw7 CLCLclcLCLC (^Cy|`LLa?#yxxypyysqsa2OGC s??3??~~~~ xssx~p6+_3O3O3O3O3O3O3O3O3O3O3O3O3O3O3O3O;vffffffffffffffffn |`CL 3L3L3L3L3L3L3L3L3L3L3L3L3L ??~xqbA&fffffffff|C~pfg~pxp0@c??~????`??xp`@?a@|yxx||qOO`???>>?Op~|xp`GO@1`q?Ogp0@`px|~ a?>`ppp~|||x<@`xp@^Oogws|~` @p }|~~~у#?333wgϟ??@x|~||qC`|~ ?㏿?`@`凟?? >xsq y㎻px p@ |x`?seaasf0y`8OC9988||>(*:sx~x?ONnn```pp UuW`?aLqqqǃÃ*jÏ|~|qCOgqpp~||}xxuw ~|x~~~|yx|-A PU Ï~x|| *>`LL@@@Uw]? *z?GGぁ`xl{~{p`UUU]~?Op@ ~xpGx~~~k@Ogsy|~>ccc |?? ?Ocp``xpC><<8?sy0#gwp|~~xxy||~ B.???/?O၁!c#Gp|UUUUU_xذ*?||<GCAaGG??p`|pp`p`~x~HH ~p@|?x`G}ysgLxp3pG aaxac?og8p`paA<||qcGOyC?x~`s7~?` 0< Ddg?Osx ` SV\IjkC~|x` `~~Ow3@p`px||~?Ocq|ysqx??+?axrgN8qcG?"G<cCG~|ysgN81g ~|xqcG??`x~(~|xqca aqcG?3yy~|xqcG><OO@@G~~~AAA<<p#1a M ap83cgg``cc!~~|||ppaGGJ9gggGOO0|aCG*?G@~#?ssgfH ?<~9 ~|xp0```@@  vFFp?Cp`009 ~~@ 999???O ~|p`@0sy|>@@~~@`px|~~!xpp`pxx|~)`p|2p???ppx|?@@LLL@@`a@@axp`@@Fbpx|~|4>>>>>>YYX\\^^^___________oooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww |~~~~~~|~4?3x?.p?(~|xpp@? sC??A@``|}q___________oooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww{ sa@;; {{{{{{{;; KCcsy}}= }}}===MMeeeqqyx|||}}}}>?>>>'33398<<<>> đĐΌܜ΃U@UUU9đ∂(* QPQEE *  * x~|xyqx|  <????????????_~p``@@@x|| {sGA @~y / ?? ? xyp @  Apxx`?~~~ sswwgcp@   @@TrH yxxx{{{y xz{ { x|~{~ A)ggg'GGo/Gw7'2~|q|p~`g+?Opg?|ysgo|} ?Oogsy|>a|?qy{ssggcKxcoL~`OOGGgga`A1qqamMMߏ`CGFN|| p ~|`w3pÎ|??Oa~ ?@8~q凅|~?@p|~|GP?|@`x|?g"'wwc?Cap|a|OOgsy|~~~~$3 ????????         @```@ @@px|~@`px|~ ~|xp`@~~~cA`8x{p`@Ap<qCx@?`O?~|xpag~~<@p??~p|~Gg @?~pp|@` O ?Cxp~A|? @@CA@``ppp80Gp~c8|>`pO?O3N>L<q@F88xX>9'fffEbqx|~?cr0p<@ssqy||~#`@@zp<`)g3@Gp~+xsfLq ?,8|/0x+~xc'@>aggGO?#1|>~~sO7O>\8qcG?~pcF 0cFff96G ~|xqcfM7la>px~,~|||~.>C8p?LLL>~~l9iy|ygO??| ||L]]AcwwA>>x~<>??;K?@gsy|pp~`??pgO\LL@NN~ Owsy~~?cgpOx@|pLD@`0  |}co__>?@`p  x|~?OgC@`px|~|p`@`p~pfgsy}~`8`?Ogsyyswsssy|Oc3311qx|@~/w{ow{~~wn\|zwoowz|ltz~||zwn~~}_?/w?_o._ltAAwo_*w{}~P`p`a}{wo+{~ 8T?1` ?????___?? @@gs9f^\swgs{xOO~x>>x>8xfoO<8qw;_O`90`bBD@HA|~ @0`caq8Nc}~`| |yyy}~~xpcO5_????_ ?o? wnXXnw _w{}~d@d~}{~AAAl\<~}}~~}{;80Pp___?}~~}~vx|u~_v|~!awo_1~} wo__ow{?_o?_??==[CC`x||Oo_~x_~>x`@@~~vsy|>_O1|g|y8~~}yx{?` xgx 0 "(-??/7'A{q~~~> p8No`g`as`g``pOG'><~Uv߷CCcap||~~~*aŅ@pp~|xx|`}w}w  ~~~~ 7 ?Og'gO ?C|xc?gw@~1G||~~><1`wc?_ooo`oL#a~(> 6Հ6@ Ogss Օ?Ogq|~wgo__?_OOOogGCC L~xyy|@~?@ Հ@<1ssq` Ooc|?CAaq|yp?CခՀ  z???~f~~~~px|@@??_~p@AC@~cAAGp~Հys |ʈOoows{ |xpp`px~~ ||a 8|h*U?*xpp?_ggg|`@~~|qurupx|yqyx~~~ |ycO?N9H?  ? Єx|~~~~|}}sw`Օ~ooO_?ogws{{{sG?~~x?`q` @ |ppp|~~|ppp6AG?xxxpaC?`@`~~~>>? ~|xpa?? ??@`paC? ~x00x|~~|xpaC?|x|~x @`x||xp`@? ~|x|||||x|~ ~|xp`@xpx~<~|~;yp`?~~ x`P~ G~h?=}]<=p _?y}x}@Ds0O`@@np30𰀀`yyxxx|~O~s@ _|p~~Ap|~x`8???   >|xp@`As9 Ќ2p|p@``| Χ _Aqb ?l`< @x abcbcqpprxxphC888X@xCxssx|B|p?8À8x|xx-𜏏a@`x ?AC?y@ ?GGGC;ffy0 f:y89p`~~p``8<|||0;ff xyyp?Cp;`ppxyyppx~wqpEyb ??CO ~~~`@Dyy<z:~~~~~ Gp|||x2?????P~0&pff&yff f0 G3ffg?0 p``p&fcGGCAO2yy~f8fyxypg`f`CGGG;0&pxy9p?Ǐp0@|/+*   Uu}~xp`@}stx|x`x~|pA0?@`pp``PU<<<@OO x`p n |@y?O_#w/>>8 | ?+?@ ?>?>?wcv =?@@p3o8<8ggg~UU` >ssqcxxc|88|cUu} xp ǛOA=?||m<<x`|*~ {|yp`cp OCA _\|8p303pyyxxxu {a}?~w@ ?j *UW_?? }uuUF@*k{< |x×>~j*jU}? 郾r`Aa <`l***z `C<|`Cax`C0C8x@X8Csxs<G8|>/?8++//+*xy~xx<UW._W_WU@a*jz ?ACC@ 󩛅` `,P,R,U,W` (0 y`нй`)JJ & & f)` ??BOOO~>~~````Bcycpaa|?B~<||~`aaa P`<`pta`@<<OOO 8xxxp ? a@pyg??`L?_O>> |< Ox ?>><w{` 0? PLg6>>gg>xx =3xϏ?ap~|xxyogoG@!@ff|Fg <|~||?  88sA``O __ @`pggx|x~~~`?8Cp<d@aO?|p`|gd @ |~}|xp`@~dg~|< ~~| |~$i8Ç8<LJ|~|x|~xpcxxssppp cow. Face the horrible, slobbering, evil Dragon of the Dark (or not). Get the Cow. Now. &-- End of Argent Bovine text -- -- Press R to (moo) run it -- uit, type Q. To win, Get the Silver Cow. *&Go now and explore the land of Gunter, you with the large T emblazoned on your vest, symbolizing the Talisman, foretelling of the Tempest you are about to face, revealing the Titanic ego of Tom. Find theur command choices:  A, up arrow: move north Z, down arrow: move south left arrow: move west right arrow: move east *&To search the area you are standing on, type S. To get what you are standing on, type G. To use something you have, type U. To qOW, SILVER COW? ==  In the upper left box, you will see your character on the world of Gunter. The tall box on the right reports your commands and events. The small box to the left of it displays your possessions, and the box to the left of that lists yoave trouble with the Hideous, Mangling Death Dragon of Hades. Then again, you might not. Many people have spent months trying to get the Cow, solving all the intricate puzzles within. (Of course, some just walked right over and got it.) *&== HOW Noyal Cow Collection), and she has \ chosen you to go get it. However, it's impossible to get to. **&Or maybe not. You must roam the world of Gunter (where live many thick-necked guys) in search of the Cow and the means to reach it. You may hge Joe did make in his own two hands the Horrible Blade of Axinarinoth. : Millions of years later, a blacksmith in Yorkshire whacked together the Silver Cow. ,9Her Royal Majesty wants the ASilver Cow for the Regus Bovus Aggregus (the RJkw.PU.G&:by Tom Hall `&In the Time of Legends, before the Human-Birth, before the Light of Beginning, before Indoor Plumbing, in the days when men were men, women were women, and cows were silver, the great All-Powerful Archma0<|||8<&fyyy~a<~gyyypp|spEyar~|`@OLL sa@ @``p~2xx@g| `G?><x|:~~~ cx|||3?????????~8~&f?f&0f '&G4f`p?&>f~&&pGGGA@2yy~22yygffAG<&fy99???G@<fp&>f`&<99|~gf?CC`s@@GsL|~xxxp~ǀ?yǃxx|xcO3cx|`8`@0Gϟ<񷹺PLPGLPSLQULSQ? [What? LM>0++=:+-<=  $% [Really quit(y/n)?0 yLN)Y!yNn ~ [ Oh, good. LM ~$% [ See ya later. LO$% [ That's all. Well done. Go and WRP~ WO w bO x /x V w mO w~"# !/N3 %$ [(c)$ [1988%$ [Welcome to Penultima I: The Silver Cow by Tom Hall %$ ~0 yLM)׍`08 LYPALYP L{PZL{PLPRTWq }LLoL0& LLLLLL խ0 LL q }LM (21)::230,323(4)"BRUN PU.PAK"J (4)"BLOAD COWPU"j!(4)"BLOAD THE.SILVER.COW"x(QPU19456<QPUZ(4)"BYE"~rx䢀axĀĄ@p@䈀בբĄ, 0xxyas?Oo?Oo?Ccsswo_?~|`c]MS_`oa0Lfss3s3?@@@?O?xp`AsOGCY~~|||~~~|@?؁0ꑀ݁ĄĀꑐ䑀``÷䢠шёБđđxԢ𰞀򀃁Ą@@x񀃀|𐀀ƄĄĀ͌ ®Ã˘čp~o/ӈבđāĄ𐸜〼􀁁`@@`􀁀|xĄఀ@ć have a cookie. [(Hit a key for Softdisk) 0 yL2OQ"# (!`wpw`Ѝwsw`O`O ULrOʫ((PPLO [Blocked! ( VVLM3/ + ' #<840,`,,,..0023343565665()*+45((((( ) ) ( ) (67777777877787787889899::9:9:;98998889;99:99:99::9:::::9:::;9::;<8: /:;:TAmT|ro]lmY\\YZ[K]\IKKH[JIHIIJKJIKXKXWIKKJIJJIKKJMNKULMNVVJLMTTSIKSSISRJSSQ?A:642111/./, LU` U LV` U L>V`0 LVVLVV`WW)W)00VVVVV`ʩVVWVV`t flies off your finger and bursts with a tremendous light! @ ))0  VVLM [What ring? LM [Not here, not here. LM [What? LMhere, not here. LM [What? LM8..0jjjM `0lly can't do that. LMSLT y0PL [Sword scares ape to death with its nasty edges and pricetag.  LM [Nothing here to use it on. LM [Find a sword first, THEN you can use it. LMRLU 0LrU LU [You hold up the ring, i COW! (Something most people would LOVE to have in their possession.) LM, [These are the bricks people hit. LM [Nothing. LM [Use Type first letter of the thing you want to use: 0 yLS)`08 K7   LM [I reaining silversword called: The Ape Avenger.LM3 [A brass key withthe words White Cave on it. LM' [This area is, well, grassish. LM [These are trees. LM 3 [You're on the Bridge Over Troubled Water. LMc [Hey, this is theSILVERt? LM   [ring. %$ [RINGLM   [key. $% [KEYLM   [sword. $% [SWORDLM   [cow! $% [COW mOLN [Search...  D [It is a golden ring, with the inscription: Simon&Garfunkel LM 5 [A sh U U U U U U` [That's an ape, you know. (  VV` [North  OLO)?LM [South  OLO)?LM [East  OLO)?LM [West  OLO)?LM [Get   ]6| [wha:;:;;:;;;:;<:.:.;.;;;//<<;;;;<< .< . . . -... . 1=<;----.../2/0///0/:/;;:;;;;;;<;<::;;;;;;;:::9:: -9 8 888888898 8"8#8$8%9%9&:':*<.;.+?%>&?'=(>-<)?+<*>-;,<.;,;.;*>1<'>1Y-=2^"?69";.8#4Coming soon:Penultima IIFind the keySoftdisk EEOOYYFHPTZ`IIUUaaJJVVbbKKWWLLMMNNXXOOYYPPZZQS[_TT``UUaaVVbbWWXXYYZZ[[\^__``aabb         !7 B"8 MC#9 X ND$: (>JV b )?KW *@ L +ABBCCMMDDNNXX@@@@@@@@@@@@ !,7BMX {c{{)?)?{'{i2'&&*&"i  ݩпLzȱѪȱȩ 2{eLz LJzc{2{ chh`````aaaabbbbccccddddeeeeffffgggghhhhiiiijjjjkkkkllllmmmmnnnnoooo@@@@HH8)?먥8)?諾zz2{3yi4y3yȘ)? )? é23y{4y{{){{댟{2͟{)͠{!{{i2,0m{Ly{{)?{ в덟{{{)?{ ЖX{n{b{d    wQx8 wwRx wQxwRxw` ` %$ ~ ~ ~$ ~ ~ ~` %$ ~ ~ ~$ ~ ~ ~` %$ ~ ~ ~$ ~ ~ ~` Sx ^x Sx x Sx x Sx x`  Zv down Search   <- left Use   -> right Quit   $%~p ~wwLwwIw`} ~~ ~` $%x' ~$% $%%`          A^ up Get                                          The Silver Cow                                                                                          ׊HH Lf~ ~ii% ~ԠzeS~:R~$mR~S~R~ ئ$$8 !# $%%#~ "% $L~ ~%hh`Ԑ`HH" ~ԅ# ~ԅ e! ze:"% $hh`" #8 ׽ze':e &eBe &!Хi׽ze':e &&!`hh ~LcHH`                 @@@@@@@@@@@@` @`00`@ ~?~?0`@ @`0p 0 00 @@@@x 00f76666666666f 0x`x8000~?000008x 00 @`0 ~?x 000@0000 x @ ` 0   ~? ~?~00000 xx 0~0000 x~?000 @@@@@@x 000 x 0000 xx 000 0x?00000 x@@L\xp~?~?px\L@@@@@@@@~?~?@@@@@@@@@`~?~?@@@008@`p8x 8<>7F3f1v0>000 x@`p@@@@@@@@@@p8880  0000~?0000~?0000@@|F1F1F|@1@1F1F1|@@06068@`p866xLLLx0xL36 6x3@@@@`   000000 @ ` 0  ~?~?~~x|80v~?~?000 x|0000|x|0000|?x?0000|x@``````@@@@@pxlL|z/Sesgsg/zo{8pp8>>pxlL|z/Seo{/z.: \0p8>>pxlL|z/Secc#b/zOy.:0p8>>@@F1N9\x~?@@@@@@~?|008@x8<>7F3@`px@@@x|8008xx|8008`pXL&N |8x|~<<8|8n8F00pxL|<h  pxlL|z/Sesgsg3fkklsgo{/z.:pxlL|z/Sesgsg3fccxo{n;0>>08? " !`pX p0`x 663f&2lpp00<  <`|f|>fff> |ff|`>>ffff<000066f66f<Bf~ff>ffffff>|ff|``>f|<`>~0ffff|fff<ff~fBf<~0 ~8  8쌀>c{oo;~ff>ff>fffff>~>~~>ff>ff>6f> 0``>00000>cc0 cco;;n `00`  ~<~<~~ > ``0 f`f<ff<~``0> 00 >>wwcUUM]]6wc뻇^WUUUUUWꪪ}UUU??//++**jjzz~~~~zzjj**++//??__WWUUUUuu}}}}uuUUUUWW__       ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPT.HALL~  0 0 0 8|  0 0 0 0 ~`80 0 008`~  0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  ~~? 0 |  0~?~? 0 |  `80 0<0 0088`?<     |      <`@@@@@@@@@@@@`<|x8Ff~~fF8 0~?008<66f3F10000000000060f0F136<8000x 0000000000 x~  0 0 0 0 | x 00000003 x3Հ00'0'0(0``(00Հ0 ꪪ0Հ 0 ՁԀԀ0Հ Հ 0Յ0 0㱀Օ0̇̀000'0'0̀ՀՀ00ÀՀꪪЁ0̀ 0 00#Հ0 0Հ 0 0Օ0 0 00ՀԀЁ00 0 00ꪪ 0 󩛅` `,P,R,T,W` (0 y`нй`)JJ & & f)``'000 ꪪ0~?8@p~?@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@0``````````0`0p v0|~?|0~?|`px|````1@?00008<|?p300  0`@0F1f366<808 0`0 80008|?x?8~?|00000000 xFf~>~fF`@@@@@@@@@@@@p>~?F1F1F1F1N9f~<0008p|<0<|x~000~|?000|?000v0000vx 0 0x8|~|p3x|~~|p`p880~<p3|?<0<|?p38|xf~<8000@@`@@@@@p~?0 @`0 ~???8p`@800~````````````~@`0 @@@@px|~|p3~0000~F 0p00 8`000p~?@@@@@@@@@@@@@000000000000 x000000000  0`@0000000F1f366<80000  0`@`0 00000  0`@@@@@@@@0  0Հ񳱀  0 տ0կ 0ꪪ Ԁ0Հ 0 0Հ 0#Հ0 0Հ 0 0Ք 0Հ 0 0Հ 0Օ 0Հ 0ᳳՕ0Հ̇0 50000NS1L0G(770)169ĺ(4)"BLOAD WALK.SOUND"Q ::23:3:"WALK INTO THE DOT (C)1988 SOFTDISK"24:7:"MOVE:AZ,ARROWS ESC:EXITS";70,390:0,3939:1,380:1,3839#152OB%(1,16)! <X18:Y18:IXp~C`~~|~|~~~pxx?p~􀁏`@A~~~瀁xFg 1|`~||px|pqc|G_tGPC烃o_Go~|x~~||Gx~?G@`?@|P`p{|~?@x|A?~?|?|h?!|q@c~p怂􇀀x?~>>~??GCBp@ ?~~>|O`Ap??G|x|~Ap||?A`?`|@`yx~p|x>~??ax@p|G||~vn|~|~sx|p~?c)?~>>>~???GgBpp`??~~~xg}?8p?6{~|wx~xqsCp- - ?.NOLINER.GAME.T - - ?-DISKUS.GAME.T - - ?*BACKPACK.T  %- - ?BACKPACK.G-  - ?.WALKINTOTHE..G-  - ?,WALKINTOTHE.w- - ?WALK.SOUNDj- - ?TABLE.T- - ?%TABLE - - ?TABLE.SHADOW- - ?*TABLE.HRCG*Next, you must, um, well, that's about it, really. Watch out -- anyone who gets past level 30 will suddenly go insane! .&-- End of Walk Into the Dot text -- -- Press R to run it -- WALKINTOTHE..G*&by Tom Hall  Yes, a game for the masses! Perhaps the most difficult game of all. Listen to this: First, you must walk the little guy into the white dot. Next, you must not walk the little guy into the orange dots. 00(0ՀÀ0ǀՁՁ0Հ0ÎՀՀ0Հ0(0Հ(0(0`0:IY0:OX18:OY18:S3:D2:SH09 FI015:OB%(0,I):P d15:5000:9:5000a n21:1:80) s21:1:"LEVEL "L" ","SCORE:"SC" " 2500:3000 16384,128:A$((16384)128):16368,0 D0 (A$"A"A$"a"A$(11))Y1D1 (A$"ZTry another.") L$:998:36):9988 L$K$120T 1000:0:BOX,2,2,38,22` HZ18l VT16 HZ%(HZ,VT),VT%(HZ,VT):HZ%(HZ,VT)Ġ0:BOX,HZ%(HZ,VT),VT%(HZ,VT),4,3 32,0:33,40:34,0:35,24 A$"Periodical Table":H3:200BOX,4,4,34,3:5+ F"Softdisk Presents:"X PBOX,4,8,34,3:5:"The Periodical Table" ZBOX,4,12,34,3:5:"Copyright 1988" \HZ18:VT16:TI$(HZ,VT),SU$(HZ,VT):: dBOX,4,16,34,3:5:"Press a key to continue." nK$ x5:"Not that key. (24576:HZ%(8,6),VT%(8,6),EL$(8,6)FBX$(4),TI$(8,6),SU$(8,6)V 255:(21)\(4)"BRUNTABLE.HRCG,A$1C00":48688,(0):48689,(1)#(4)"BLOADTABLE.SHADOW,A$1B00":BOX81921024256$Q$(34)(1000-0<BOX,2,2,38,22 Areat boon to scientists and laypeople alike. This is THE Periodical Table. No one should be without it. &-- End of Periodical Table text -- Press R to run it  *&by James Weiler  Finally, a program that helps you with your Periodical Table! Simply run it, then use IJKM to move around, and details of the element in the table are displayed automatically! This particularly helpful program will be a g8..0jjjM `L0 L"` "L9` " LS`` Q(18A)(18B):Q650009 I03:A,A3BI:I? N Pú(4)"BYE"u `0,1,1,0,0,13,13,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1dIX1:IY0:# D3IX0:IY1:4 IX1:IY0:J XOXIX:YOYIY:j 0:I0S:OX,OXS(OY)I:s CC0 A0S:B0S OB%(SH,B(S1)A) CHXA,YB):CH0CCCH XA,YB B,A OXX:OYY: A((1)331):B((1)331)0:769,3:802:I:1000! ,210' 5 16368,0O CC15SCSC20:LL1q CC9SCSC20:LL1:L0L0 21:1:80):21:1:"LEVEL "L,"SCORE:"SC X18:OX18:Y18:OY18 15:5000:W0L:9:5000:W 200 D1IX0:IY1: D2"A$"z"A$(10))Y38SD34 A$(8)X1D4M A$(21)X38SD2a A$(27)50000} D0İ2000:2500:3000 CC15āI3701:7:1,38I:0:1,38I1:768,I510:769,3:802:I:1000 CC0āI239:7:1,38I:0:1,38I1:768,I510& A$"Softdisk, 1988":H38:2000r HZ18:VT16:EL$(HZ,VT):VT%(HZ,VT)1:HZ%(HZ,VT)1:EL$(HZ,VT):: 24:4:"I J K M moves cursor. ESC quits."; C14:BX$(C): BOX,9,1,24,7: HZ1:VT1! C14:BX$(C):::10:EL$(HZ,VT)::Q$TI$(HZ,VT)Q$::SU$(HZ,VT)D BOX,HZ%(HZ,VT),VT%(HZ,VT),4,3J [ EL$(HZ,VT);b :p CC14: " ";EL$(HZ,VT); "(49152)128280 ,255::EL$(HZ,VT); 6K$:K$"a"K$((K$)32) ;K$(27)990 @K$"J"HZHZ1 JK$0130PRW@U`T `) JHH) r%  e$e...0)imH2?hIHhMehh ? L((((PPPP g RP g RP g RP g RP "(!#?2 [$ ʩ $e [  J ڥ$ʊe [ ʩ  [$ !!!"e#`é5,33,08,33,11,33,14,33,17,33,208`'Ne,St,Tv,Gr,Us,PeMj',Pp,Ap,Pg,Ip,Ac`t',,Sl,Cf,Cn,Cmq~',,,As,Om,Sd' ,,,Tr,Dc,Ag',,Sp,Lk,Lj,Co' ,Cp,A+,Nb,Bi,So'Rd,Ng,Lf,Bb,Ls,Sk'"Symbol:","Title:",,"Subject:"+'00,00,09,08,09,11,09,14,09,17,09,20T$'00,00,00,00,13,11,13,14,13,17,13,20}.'00,00,00,00,00,00,17,14,17,17,17,208'00,00,00,00,00,00,21,14,21,17,21,20B'00,00,00,00,25,11,25,14,25,17,25,20L'00,00,29,08,29,11,29,14,29,17,29,20!V'33,0","Orchestral Hints"B$"Natural Geographical","Travel Photos"g$"Life-like","Newsy-type Photos"$"Big Blue Disk","Loadstar Clone"$"Loadstar","Big Blue Disk Clone"$"Softdisk","Call (318) 221-8718"'05,05,05,08,05,11,05,14,05,17,05,20tresses"7$"Cosmopolitician","Clothes for Junkets">$,b$"Computer!","Universal How-To"$"Ahoy!, Plus","Apple II+ at Sea"$ "Nibbler","Notcher's Gazette"$"Bite","Chewing Disks"$"Softalk","Defunct Grandpa :("$"Reeder's DigestDefunct :("$,"$,",$,E6$"Track & Road","Pavement Rag"g@$"Driver & Car","Vehicle Rag"J$"Ammo & Guns","Explosive Rag"T$,^$,h$"Sunday Nite Post","Generic Interest"r$"Lookie","Generic Photos" |$"Lady's Journalist","Reporashed SF Series" ;#"CineFantastick","Cleanser Movies"`#"CineFax","Movies via DataComm"# "CineMagical","Houdini Biographies" #,#,#,#"Astrominy","Corn Pone for Stars"$"Ominy","Corn Pone for All" $"Science Digested","n#"Poplar Photography","Deciduous Pictures"\x#"American Photo Mag","Patriot Pictures"#"Photographical","Pictures of Pictures"#"Indoor Photographer","Home Pictures"#"American Cinographer","Home Movies"#,#,#"Star Logo","Reh(#"National Equiner","Horse Gossip Rag"\2#"International Star","Astrology Gossip Rag"<# "Televideo Guide","Television Gossip Rag"F#"Gritt","Just Folks Gossip Rag"P#"Us'n","Celebrity Gossip Rag"Z#"Peoples","Highbrow Gossip Rag"d#,/24,7::::" So long!"PBOX,4,16,34,3:5:"Press a key to continue."XK$~5:"Not that key. Try another."L$:998:36):998L$K$993(4)"bye"3:0,0:62454::V1(A$)V2:H:(A$,V,1);+"K"HZHZ1" TK$"I"VTVT16 ^K$"M"VTVT1E mVT6VT6T nHZ8HZ8c oHZ1HZ1r pVT1VT1 qVT%(HZ,VT)VTVT1:369 rBOX,9,1,24,7: tC14:BX$(C):::10:EL$(HZ,VT)::Q$TI$(HZ,VT)Q$::SU$(HZ,VT) |250BOX,9,1, 666???? >< 33 33 >>       ?  ??  >> 0 3;373  30?3003??003333?3 333333>03     0 30 you are making the noise to annoy them, but one thing is sure: they WILL be annoyed. *&KALEIDOSORT is what we call a _boss deceptor." Start it up and read your favorite romance novel. When the boss comes and asks why you aren't working on the compue taking coffee, answering nature's calls, or playing Zaxxoblaster at the corner arcade. PBUZZ makes an annoying noise and flashes _*"'s all over one line of your screen. Other people in the room may think your machine is broken, or they may think I don't have to search for that evasive pound sign. (I know it's on one of these keys.... $ & * ! ? \... I give up!) *&Buzz and Kaleidosort by James Weiler BUZZ and KALEIDOSORT are workplace tools. Use them to guard your workstation while you ardoes all the work. What could be simpler? *&Boot by James Weiler I don't know why, but I can't hit the # key. Sometimes it takes me six tries to type PR#@6... PR##... PRE6...... So I don't do that anymore. Now I just dash BOOT. Same effect, andint, I have always needed to find my reference manual and start over. But now my manual sits on the shelf and collects dust. The No-liner TEXT already contains all the pokes needed to display the text screen. I just dash TEXT and the No-liner instantly y after wiping it clean. What I have always needed is an easy way to display the screen without clearing it. I have tried to learn the requisite, arcane system monitor commands... ]CALL-151 *C051... But that is about all I can remember. <At that poaround. You make these files run by dashing them against rocks. I'm not sure what they do. My psychic says they work as described in the following text.... *&Text by James Weiler The BASIC commands TEXT:HOME will dislpay the text screen, but onlto bore you with the technical details of how these files work, but I can't figure them out, so I will just tell you where you can find them and what they do. *&You will find all these files somewhere on this issue. We are not sure where. Just look  -y[W *&No-Liners by James Weiler Computers! Who needs them? You always have to type things that are impossible to remember, like RUN or TEXT or PR#6. But not with NO-LINERS. No-liner utilities do the typing for you. I'd love 0>3>3333300>333>3?><>33>03333  3333 !3?33333333333>33>003>0<3333>333 33?3!3 3333>0? ?~>>>>~```>>>????3;;333?33333333333333???3;33333?333 000003333333?!3?33333333333333333333;.33333>00? 33333333333 3333?3!33 33333 ?0?>>>>>>>>?ter, point to the pretty patterns and explain, _Doing a sort!" And the best thing about these routines is that they vanish when interrupted! If you RESET and then LIST, there is no trace of the offending routines. (Of course hackers can find their tracks for about $200.) ZSoftdisk, Inc. will assume no responsibility for lost productivity or jobs as a result of using these particular no-liners. Really! It's not our fault! *&We know you liked this selection of no-liners. But please write and te KnapSack BackPack ComputerRack reaches comfortably under your arms in front of you holding a felt-lined chromium rack into which your Apple //c computer and LCD monitor slides. The computer rack can be adjusted to your optimum typing position. So now, yo BackPack ComputerRack is for you. The KnapSack BackPack ComputerRack is made of lightweight aluminum and heavy canvas in red, black, blue or printed with Apple's own multi-colored logo. It fits comfortably on your back like any backpack. #**"But thof your autobiography, fighting your way through Might and Magic or exploring the heavens on your favorite astrological program? #**"Well, if you are like me and want your computer to be up and running while you are up and walking, then the KnapSack p sitting on the subway or get annoyed pushing through the crowds downtown getting to the office or campus. _Time wasted," you say? Wouldn't you much rather be exploring a what-if cost analyses for your company's latest PVC pounder, working on chapter six  (gn % BACKPACK.G#**&View from the Keyboard: Hardware Offer Introducing: The KnapSack BackPack ComputerRack! from Continuous Computing #**"Do you get bored walking to the train station every morning, start falling asleeake the elevator straight to the Evil Pumpkin. 3) Type CTRL-SHIFT-7 when on a rope. 4) When you get to the Hydroelectric Plant level, go left. -- Professor What's-His-Name &-- End of Gaming Q & A text --  into the firepit, Sammy keeps grabbing the ropes and getting across. Any suggestions? Marvin Placebo New Berlin, WI *&Well, that's a tough one, Marvin, but here are a few things you can try: 1) Wait for the Green Ball to appear. 2) On level three, t  x*&My scores are just too high on Sammy Lightfoot. I can't seem to score less than 55000. I try running off the carpet, but it keeps following me. I try to jump when the platform disappears but it keeps reappearing. Then when I try to fallell us so anyway. It won't have any effect, but we love to get mail. If you have any more No-liners, please don't bother to send them to us. We're having enough trouble since we used the one called _Erase.Harddisk." u and your computer can go anywhere together -- down the street, on the train, bus or subway. Even on the back of your bicycle, scooter or motorcycle. #**"Interested? But that's not all! The KnapSack BackPack ComputerRack comes with an adjustable, reversible arm, one side sports a waterproof mouse and mouse pad, the other an industrial-strength joystick. So now your mouse compatible software is street and transport compatible. You can simulate flight while flying to LA or Lode Run while running erra |ggggggggggg'gggggggggggggggggg?><>?><>?><>?<>????<<>><?>?><<>?????