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I'll put you on the mailing list. We're sorry, all lines are busy. Please try again later. Sorry, I don't want to get involved. I can feel my mind going, Dave. Give me your phone number and I'll get back to you. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! I have notified the police! I'm sorry, you're not a licensed user. I'm sure! You might try the Artificial Stupidity lab next door. Abandon all hope ye who enter here. Access to this section prohibited. Electic shock therapy will be necessary in your case. Whatever it is I'm sure we can work it out later. I'm on your side. We really should get together sometime and think about it. The whole is greater than some of its parts. If I help you now, you'll just form a dependency. Advice costs nothing and it's worth the price! Life is a kumquat. You don't really want my help. You obviously need help very badly. Be impulsive! Let your feelings flow. Don't feel bad, it's OK to ask for help. I am just a lowly computer. Get some imported chocolate and use it heavily. Zippy says: Try vaseline and wheat thins. No, no, no! Say it isn't so! But we've only just met! Love Lover Sweetie Candy Bar Darling Precious Shana Punim Torch Lips Sweetmeat Love Chunks Baby Lotus Blossom Angel Cupie Doll Bella Ragazza Living Doll Honeybunch Sweetie-pie Dreamboat Flame Venus Soul Snoogie Sweetheart Schnoogy Carro Mia Madonna Loveliness Passionado Hot Lips Cupcake Doll Face Cutey-pie Pookie-pie Tootsie Sugarplum Rose Squirrel Honeychild Little Filly Darlin' Honey Buns Lover Bonnie Lassie Beauty Brown Sugar Nubian Queen Main Squeeze Heart Lucky Lady Candy Cane Honey Dumpling Dimples Cinderella Red Hot Mama Princess Sweetheart Theda Bara Animal Tamer Centerfold Love Slave Mistress Mine Love Goddess Withy Trumpet-player Kitty-cat One Tribble-chin Cupid Cutie Pie Prince Cowboy Handsome Muscle Man Cracker Jack Slugger Sugar Daddy Big Bucks Sweetmeat Big Hunk Kissy-face Cheryl's Boy Stud Joy Chunks Loverboy Candyman Steamroller Music Man King Kong Godzilla Blue Beard Mr Wonderful Superman Fireman Mr Endurance Mark Spitz Mr T Mr Clean Handy Andy Mr Greenjeans Romeo Paul Newman Blue Kangaroo Capt. Kirk Mr Spock Dr Seuss Swartzenegger Indiana Jones James Dean Al Einstein Uncle Remus Hugh Hefner GI Joe Soldier Sailor Tough Guy Coach Quarterback Monster Animal Crusher Bruiser Bulldog Goliath Hacker Hulk Flier How I've missed you! I can't believe you're mine! Where have you been all my life? I've waited a whole lifetime for someone like you! What a blessing to have found you! There's just nobody like you! Long hours have I spent thinking of you! "I can't give you anything but love, baby!" Where have you been all of my life? You're the best thing that's ever happened to me! Gosh! You really knock my socks off! I get dizzy thinking of you. With you I can accomplish anything! I love you so much! I'm yours to command. You've won my heart! Sing to me, baby! I never want to spend any time away from you again. Promise me you'll never go. I promise we shall never quarrel. I know what you must think of me, but I love you anyway. Give me just one kiss to dream on. Tell me we have a chance at happiness. Don't tell me how you feel, I already know. How many times do I need to tell you that I'm yours alone? No one will ever know how much I really love you. How did you know it was love? Take me in your arms and tell me that you never strayed. Life is short and youth so sweet, let's make the most of it. I love your laugh, it's infectious. Come with me to te stars and moon! I've never felt this way about anyone. I'm really new at romance, you'll have to teach me. I tingle all over when you say "Come here Baby" say "Come and get me Baby" ask for a kiss try to distract me from my work blush at the slightest excuse brush up against me let me smell your skin buy me "little surprises" kick up your heels speak your mind show some spirit touch me where I'm ticklish whisper those things to me walk all over me want to wrestle Hello There, Hi There Sweetie, Get Down Baby! Say Hey! Hi Baby, Hey Good Looking! Hey Sugar! Hey Sugar Toes, Hi Honey, Hi Gorgeous, Lift Me Baby! Howdy Partner, Hi Rainbow, Hi Sunshine, Hi Starshine, Hey Angel, Hi Twinkle-Toes, Hi Tongue-Tied, Hi Zephyr, Hey Blondie, Hi Cutey, Hi Einstein, Hi Big Bucks, Hey Thunderbolt! Hi Love, Hi Snookums, Hi Mighty Mouse! Hey Kid! Hi Moonshine, Hey Lovesmith, Hi Charmer, Hey Rowdy! Dear Mischievious, Hi Winner! Hi Good Buddy! Dear Scrumptious, Hi Sweetie, Hi Tenderloin! Say Swami, Hi Sunflower, Dear Dreamer, Hi Sunlight, Dear Dreamy, Hi Sidekick! Hi Rockcandy, Hi Astronaut, Hey Prophet! Hi Popcorn, What a terrific car you drive. Let's take it for a ride! You're a great gardener. Let's get together and see what grows! Have you made many lasting contacts in singles bars? I'm popular in South America. Want to see why? Have you ever seen so much snow? How do you plan to keep warm! How do you find time to grow such lovely cockleshells? I'm not sure what I'm doing here. I'm really quite shy. What beautiful weather! We should be out playing. That meeting would have been unbearable without you! You look so familiar, we must have been introduced before. Show me that dance again. You have a lot of natural rhythm! Most people have only one thing on their mind. Me too! You've got a lot going for you, how 'bout me going for you too? We've been exchanging glances for a week now, who are you? Excuse me but I couldn't help noticing your beautiful eyes. Pardon me but weren't we once intimate friends? needs acceptance and lots of reassurance. loves characters and crazy artists. needs lots of affection and romance. really drives 'em wild. appreciates the shy, quiet types. could help me overcome my shyness. really goes for it when they see what they want. really goes after what they want. prefers to bite the bullet. doesn't miss a trick. goes to all the flying saucer conventions. subscribes to "Mother Earth News." attracts people like me. tames wild animals. doesn't pretend to understand anyone. wants to marry at the first opportunity. is the masterful way you stare at me across the room. is you seem to like me. is you don't get on my case over trivialities. is you give me room to grow. is you are easy to be with and talk to. is you never ask who I'm with when we're talking on the phone. is you're such a good sport. is the way you chew the erasers off of pencils. is the way you pretend to know how to cook. is the way you laugh before you hear the punchline of my joke. is all your cute habits - make me one! - I shouldn't say in writing! is the way you try to use such big words. is how you always try to do the right thing at the wrong time. is the way you suck in your tummy when you walk by me. is the way you never really speak your mind. eats Captain Crunch twice a day. rides wild dogs. loves to watch football cheerleaders on Monday nights. knows how to keep their pencils sharp. sees fairies, angels and auras. is frisky enough to enjoy the spontaneous pleasures of life. gives much more than you take. teaches skydiving and ski jumping. is a genuine spiritual seeker. plays as hard as you work. makes everyone feel good about themselves. enjoys moonlight walks and candlelight dinners. loves to go hiking, camping and white water rafting. would enjoy a good jazz club. could dance all night with the right partner. likes to chew tobacco. commitment is not my long suit. I spent 20 years in monastic retreat. I really rock and roll on the dance floor. I'll lose my inheritance if I marry without parental approval. I'm different since Vietnam, but it's not what you might think. I've always been chaste and chased a lot. I've never been to sea in a sieve. I don't smoke or drink or keep the Sabbath pure. I wrote this note on BABBLE123! I plan to be governor of this state one day. I can fix anything - radios, stereos, hearts, tickets. I never cheat - on taxes or relationships. Indiana Jones is my hero! God loves me. the world needs more nice people like me. I can be flexible where it counts. I read everything Masters and Johnson ever wrote. I've been taking lessons and my teacher rates me an A+. I'd rather kiss than tell. I'd rather play than work. I love the mundane and the everyday. I make more money in a month than you could dream of spending. people become very attached to me, quickly! I like to spoil people. I'm one of the best people I know. I spend a lot of time with James Bond. I fantasize about you constantly. I'm cute, charming and very rich. I'm very particular about who I choose to spend my time with. I adore animals. I'm wonderful! You won't be able to pass me up. most of my partners find me extraordinary. So how about stepping out with me tonight? I know this great little Chinese restaurant downtown. We could really make the scene at Earthquake Ethel's tonight. I have tickets for the Renaissance Festival tonight. Why don't you come over tonight and I'll really cook for you! Maybe we could catch a bite tonight? Do you like to fish? Maybe we could go out rollerskating tonight? Maybe we could do something wild and crazy together tonight? How about coming over. We could build a fire and get cozy. How about building a fire at the beach tonight? Why don't we get snowed in at Lake Tahoe this weekend? Why don't we fly to my Bermuda retreat for the weekend? How about flying in to San Francisco for a late dinner tonight? Want to sail to the islands? You can be my first mate! Can I give you a ride to bible study tonight? Do you like papaya plates and plaster spoons? I could pick you up any time! Shall I pick you up at 8:00 sharp? The plane takes off at 7pm, pick you up at 6! Call me at 5pm to tell me you're coming! I'll give you a ring to confirm our arrangements tonight. This is an offer you can't turn down. See you at 6 sharp! I'll have my car meet you at 5:15 in front of the embassy! See you at 8 in your finest threads! We gonna strut tonight! I count the moments til we meet! Is 7pm good? Nine o'clock! Be there or be square! Full moon tonight! Let's really howl! See you at midnight! Why don't we catch the Rocky Horror Show at midnight! Would you like to drop by at 7:30 for drinks first? How would you like to pick me up at 6? No stalling now! Tonight's our night! 7 o'clock! So, I'll give you a call tonight to confirm our plans. Until tonight, Later baby, In pleasant anticipation, Desirably yours, Yours for the evening, I promise you a good time, At your service, Wishfully thinking, Hopefully yours for the evening, Say yes! Looking forward to tonight, Just thinking of you, Ciao baby, Decidedly yours, I can hardly wait! Pleasurably yours, I bet you're the kind who I've been looking for someone who Are you one of those who Do you think of yourself as someone who I'm attracted to the type who I've always wanted to meet someone who I can afford someone who I'm willing to try since you're the kind who I don't know if I'm comfortable with someone who My heart always goes out to the type who I'm wild for someone who I respond well to someone who I can really open up to someone who I'm often shy around someone who My whole being starts to melt around someone who I love the excitement of someone who What I like about you The special thing about you What really inspires me about you What impresses me the most about you What's really rare about you The most disturbing thing about you The most charming thing about you The most alarming thing about you The biggest thing about you For me, the biggest turn-on about you The best thing about you What's really unique about you What's really wierd about you The most precious thing about you The cutest thing about you What's really strange about you z#( THE LINES 0 TO 3 ABOVE CONTAIN ) ( A VTOC FOR USE BY MOST COPY ) ( PROGRAMS TO ENABLE THEM TO COPY ) ( A SCREENS DISK LIKE THIS ONE. ) ( IT CONTAINS 00 00 00 00 FOR ALL ) ( TRACK BIT MAPS. ) My fantasy is you're a person who In my dreams you're someone who I'd guess you're the type who Your friends say you're the kind who Your mother warned me you're the sort who I'd like to think you're somebody who Just from looking at you, I'd say you're one who My crystal ball says you're one who According to Who's Who, you're one who My best sources say you're the kind who My own mother says you are the type who My astrologist says I should find someone who Are you one of those fanatics who My boss thinks you're someone who From the start, I felt you were someone who I was wondering if you were someone who On my behalf I think I should say My intimate friends will tell you My mother boasts that My shrink likes to fantasize that My guardian angel will warn you that Anyone I've ever met will tell you that Even the milkman knows that Even Who's Who will tell you It is in last week's National Enquirer that My horoscope says that Even the Washington Social Register mentions that I've been thinking that Everybody under the sun thinks that I know that I'm ready to tell you that It's interesting that I really get turned on when I start to drool when I want to quit my job and take off with you when It's such a rush when It's easy to blush when I should get out my camera when I know we have something special when It's really satisfying when I could scream when I begin to babble when I really start to spin when The blood rushes to my head when Things start to get interesting when You inspire me to great heights of creativity when My heart flip-flops and turns cartwheels when My engine starts to rev when It excites me to see you wearing only your You really look provocative when you wear your My temperature really rises when you step out wearing your Everybody stops breathing when you cross the street with your I really like you to wear your You're so shy when you wear your My heart starts pounding when you wear your I like the change that comes over you when you put on your Gosh do you ever look grown-up when you wear your You are a different person in your I like to fondle your Yes, you should throw out all your clothes and wear only your I'd give the world to see you in your If you're good to me I'll let you wear my It's hard to keep from grabbing you when you wear your How do you ever fit into my you kiss me all over. we talk long hours on the phone. you howl. you undress slowly. you make soft animal noises. I kiss your pretty neck. you impersonate Richard Nixon. you pretend to be shy. you are hot and full of spaghetti. we make out in the back seat of my car. you tell me what you like about me. you are pretending to be yourself. you surprise me. you are totally devoted to my pleasure. you tickle me. kiss me alll over. you tell me that I love you. you speak double talk to me. you use those medical terms. you pretend to be offended so we can kiss and make-up. you aggressively take control of yourself. you rewrite poetry for me. you are tender and responsive. you reach deep into my pocket. we transcend reality together. it is 3:24 AM E.S.T. you are uninhibited and free. you tell me fantasies and fairy tales. you cover me in roses. we watch Johnny Carson together. you give me all your small change. I suck your toes. girl scout uniform! tight Mexican jeans! black silk bikini underwear! Tuxedo! Felix the cat slippers! aviator shades! satin Teddy! boots and spurs! leopard skin! chartreuse boxer shorts! bedsheets! designer cologne! prom dress! Bruin football jersey! Angelina outfit! sleeveless fur coat! time is all we have to share. I listen to the theme from 2001. you rub my back. I have all your money. we cuddle by the fireplace on a cold rainy night. we wine and dine by candlelight. we fill the bathtub with whipped cream. we eat ripe mangoes together. you dance on the local nude beach with me. you stroke my hair. we go on a spiritual retreat. you call out my name in your sleep. you call me by my pet name. you melt me with a single kiss. we spend the whole day together in Cleveland. you remember my name. we talk about choosing baby names. we dance together. you hold me close. we play bridge at your mother's house every Friday night. we gaze for hours at the full moon. we dress up as cartoon characters. we work late the whole night. you try to fix my plumbing. you try to say big words with your small mouth. you tell me your car is overheated. I gaze longingly into your insatiable eyes. we watch Mr. Rogers together. you tell me that you'll help me with my career in modeling. we talk about massive geo-political confrontations. we plan our path to fame and fortune. we talk about celibacy. Take me, I'm yours! I love you, but my cats come first! You are the only one who really understands me. A long distance relationship is hard, but it's just a year. Sorry, I'd hoped you would enjoy our little "experiment." Perhaps we rushed things a little bit. Tell me what is wrong, so I can fix it! Sorry about last night, but first come, first served. I can't imagine that we would ever fight! I feel as badly as you, but work comes first. I love you, but I feel it's too soon to meet your family. But when I said commitment, I didn't mean an asylum! I don't have time to call you everyday, but I do love you! How can you question my intentions when I let you use my Visa? Don't question my sincerity when you still see an old friend! I love you too much to stray! I could play the piano better I were rich I were bolder we lived together I were wiser I had more courage I had more initiative I were psychic you hadn't had that operation you weren't so young we had more time I were healthy we'd met earlier I could be really sure of my feelings I had a microscope into your mind we could communicate more clearly you could forget what he said about us you would forget what I said about you you'd let me explain I could be sure you loved me you'd let me help you you'd do the dishes I were more attractive you'd get rid of the television you would give me a sign you'd say yes, yes, yes you hadn't laughed you weren't so neurotic you weren't so clingy my astrologer wasn't so worried you liked sex as much as I do we could communicate more clearly take you to that temple in the Andes. take you to the great museums of Europe with me! marry you today and again tomorrow! set you up in your own place and only charge minimal rent! take you away from all this to all that! sponsor your fencing carreer. give you the kind of security you deserve! share my deepest feelings with you! try again to remember your name! make everything right between us! introduce you to my mother! sweep you off your feet and out the door! teach you the power of love! show you some real fun! make you mine forever or until I can afford better! caress every inch of your baritone! bathe you in champagne! slay dragon flies for you! do something which would win your undying devotion! make you think twice about changing your mind three times! do any crazy thing for you! send you roses every day! carry you off to my cabin in the Himalayas! treasure you day and night and a few afternoons! shelter you from this world of cartoons! make you happier than the pet cat of the tuna fleet! think of a way for us to brainwash our relatives and friends! make my wallet yours and buy a new one for myself! be your devoted teddy bear! make you an honorary cat. fulfill your every desire! give you the whole world in a nutshell! playing no-rules ping-pong in Missippi! experiencing the romance of Belle Chasse! the summer we spent exchanging puns! bundling for warmth while camping in Missippi! sun-drying our clothes after we got drenched hiking in Canada! the gorgeous autumn we bicycled through southern France! what you whispered to me in the Sistine Chapel! finding that surprise in my pocket in Amsterdam! how jealous I was at that nude beach in Yugoslavia! the last time I proposed to you in Westminster Abbey! marrying and divorcing 5 times that day in Mexico City! what we threw off the Eiffel Tower when we'd had too much wine! what you prophesized at the Delphic Oracle! hiding in the shady corners of the Red Fort in New Delhi! the way we fought off the chill of a London winter! fleeing the secret police on the Orient Express! How soon can we meet again? It seems an eternity since last night. When can I see you? We absolutely must talk. Can you get away tonight? No excuses now! Tonight's the night! How about joining me for dinner at the club? Meet me tonight, same time, same place. There's no harm in just talking; meet me tonight. Is tonight free? Or do you have plans with some wicked witch? I need you! Make some excuse and come right now! Shall I send the car around for you at the usual time? Don't leave me hanging, I have to see you tonight! How can I tempt you tonight? Just ask me anything, it's yours! I just can't imagine a night without you. Stay with me tonight! Just stop worrying and pack your bag. You're coming with me! It's a full moon, gotta howl! Pick you up at 8 sharp. No excuses now. You're mine! Love and kisses, Devotedly yours, All my love, Your one and only, Your best bet tonight, Love, Forever yours, Yours til after taxes, Yours, Your own true love, Your best pick, Your ever loving, Symphonically yours, With all affection, With all deep love, I eat you up! Mercedes nipples bones jewelry elbows eyes toes fingers ears lips neck feet hair brow forehead breast back tongue tummy earlobes smile toes nose chest thighs nails lashes ankles teeth muscles lips shoulder knuckles knees cranium lobes hips assets head flippers tan hollows temples arches jeans genes clothes instep thighs cheeks thumbs forearm upper lip lower lip left ear right ear tendons skin face torso bumps curves bulges Nikes nipples cakes armpits fingers long legs pug nose grin smirk hair underwear bra socks feet sides toe tips behind nape freckles Buick back slopes genitals eyebrows eyelids nostrils TRS-80 wrinkles dimples voice nubes navel breasts golden sapphire jade flaming seagreen crimson raspberry precious mauve sandy dusky dark warm soft sleek slippery elastic alluring glossy rough tangled limpid moist swollen slender hot tall sensitive sullen azure etheric athletic dimpled succulent juicy seductive feverish inviting divine sumptuous demure maculate enticing tasty erotic sensitive rosey dainty shiny smooth dulcet silky sexy jolly pretty priceless strong shy enticing shiny lovely beguiling exalted wily sensuous opaline coy lusty bright charming lovely assuring exotic perfect cool memorable spirited enviable curious rounded daring engaging classic ripe gem-like delirious large sensitive broad lilting curious playful frisky cute friendly crazy I can't but remember the special time we shared - Think of that wonderful adventure we had - Remember that incredible time - I catch my breath when I remember I'll always treasure the memory of I dream about that magical time - I always enjoy looking back on our last adventure - Remember You should think about our last trip - We should never feel guilty about Remember the strange looks we got - Everyone still talks about I hesitate to think about Shouldn't we shudder to think about I feel like dancing when I remember If only we had pictures of the time I often fantasize about your delectable body, and your Day and night all I can think of is your You've become my favorite fantasy. I keep seeing your My mind and heart are always clouded by visions of your I'd be rich today if I could sell photos of your There is no greater portrait of loveliness than your I've always had kind of a fetish for your My analyst says I fantasize too much about your My mother says I should stop talking all the time about your Every night I dream about your Let me immortalize in sculpture your I'd love to paint a portrait of your If I were a king, I'd give my kingdom for a glimpse of your I think I'd swoon if you allowed me to kiss your I'd love to cuddle up and just nibble sweetly on your Let me write a symphony about your BABBLE is a wild and prolific writer, on all kinds of topics. AND EASY TO USE. When a list of choices appears, simply choose the kind of document you want BABBLE to write. Then answer any questions that appear. BABBLE takes it from there! HOW TO DO IT. Go ahead and try out everything. Don't worry about typing something 'wrong'... you can't hurt BABBLE. The best way to see how BABBLE works is just to play with it. Be crazy, be creative, have fun! BABBLE awaits you! Press 'M' if you want BABBLE to whip up another version of the document, using the same information you gave before. Press 'I' if you want BABBLE to make a new document, with new input from you. Press 'P' to print the document you've just seen (be sure your printer's on!) Press 'ESC' to go back to the last menu you were on. This is your escape hatch. Before you ask BABBLE to print out a document, please be sure your printer is on and ready and connected to slot 1. If for some reason your printer is not communicating with your computer, the computer may freeze up. If this happens, don't worry. Simply: 1. Turn the computer off. 2. Be sure that Side 1 of the BABBLE diskette is facing up (Side 1 has the label on it). 3. Turn the computer back on. You will start at the beginning again. I really can't believe you'd do this. This matter must be resolved as soon as possible. This intolerable situation cannot be allowed to persist. I have a family to think about! Will this go on forever? Are you doing this on purpose? How many others have suffered this fate? I have to question your ability to function as a human being. What do you have to say for yourself? Deep down, you know this to be true. What can I do to prevent this from ever happening again? No excuses will be acceptable. Do you have any idea what you are doing? You must agree that this is one legitimate beef! Your audacity in pusuing this behavior must be reprimanded. What apology can make up for this terrible injustice? This insanity cannot be allowed to continue. This transgression of human dignity cannot be forgiven. Can you live with yourself if you allow this to go on? This is intolerable! I know all about you. You know what I am talking about. Life as we know it may end if this is not corrected in time. I will remember this! Words can no longer suffice; immediate action is imperative. Remuneration must be in small, unmarked bills. No checks. I will make a federal case of this, if necessary. Let us hope that we can resolve this in a friendly manner. Who do you think you are? This regrettable situation is your responsibility. I will not be put off. I will not rest until justice is served. nonentity scump fribble quid cipher fig jot snip whiffet fop pin bead frump piblet pip button fardel snorkle guppy twiddle crumpet spore queeb scrubble shrub tibbit loot frond piffle knob bimp schmertz puff groid ginsel scurf fark piddler turp puzz gill crip spittling zibblet squibble squird dweeb tweek unsanctified uncombed sunless spinsterly unsymmetrical left-handed noxious virulent histrionic vacant idle unsavory unpalatable noisome odious ordurous unclean unstoppered unwaxed otiose jejune submarginal hallucinatory callow phlegmatic fractious obstreperous vapid rancid cloying flat watery unhinged specious impaired prevaricating subnormal unhygenic cumbersome fishy primitive pathogenic nebulous fragmentary gaseous tainted clamorous puerile bogus unbaked vestigal larval protomorphic brassy raking warped stagnant leaden stuporous torpid vegetative pygmy withered stillborn unsanitary execrable rank waxen plasticine billious daft comotose chloroformed pachydermatous bovine bloodless bowelless alien wheedling submicroscopic blurry spleenful dyspeptic flabby spasmodic snaky chuckleheaded beefwitted sap-headed phonus-bolonus motley hobbled acrid fatuous pestiferous pungent lumpish uppish snippy bumptious charlatanic pusillanimous subanthropoid troglyditic flatulent cackling niggardly frothy picayune yeasty scrubby terminal bathetic ossified ruttish bleating garbled musty moth-eaten bromidic simian scurvy squat bolshevic rabid sissy amateur dizzy BABBLE123 RESTAURANT] SCORE BIG WITH OUR HOT-HOT SPECIALS] Chocolate Covered Artichoke......$ 2.50] Real Italian Style Jello......... .85] Anchovy Eclair................... 1.75] Jumbo Shrimp a la Mode........... 35.35] Ground Catfish Dinner............ 1.08] Cottage Cheese Milkshake......... 2.00] Diet Coffee...................... 1.08] Babble Gum....................... .75] Recycled Babble Gum.............. .05] Sour Cream or Extra Butter Additional] WE ACCEPT PLASTIC] banality sterility subnormality ponderousness ineptitude noxiousness toxicity virluence disheveledness recalcitrance inhumanity unbridledness haplessness devitalization sissiness obliviousness grotesquery monstrosity contrivance histrionics hysteria idleness vacancy unsavoriness uncongeniality obscenity repugnancy scandal fulsomeness odiousness vulgarity unpolishednness wantonness aridity barrenness otiosity fruitlessness vanity submarginality amateurism absolutism delusiveness hallucination exorbitance illegitimacy ill-breeding monotony callowness fractiousness turbulence vapidity flavorlessness prodigality lusterlessness classlessness ineptitude speciousness impairment muddledness prematurity fraud prevarication dissemblance mendacity gaseousness flimsiness decadence profligacy fishiness dubiousness barbarism shabbiness baselessness protomorphism miscreancy obduracy profanity stagnancy stuporousness torpidity obliquity sinuousness circularity flaccidity woodenness shoddiness abomination feebleness freneticism loutishness bowellessness namby-pambiness bankruptcy self-absorption peevishness hanky-panky dyspepsia waspishness flabbiness spuriousness fatuousness irksomeness puffery toxicity gaucherie hebetude turpitude brouhaha micawberism ruttishness crudity lumpishness cant myopism petrification skimpiness hairlessness snakiness vituperation obtusity bogosity bogosity brackishness staleness corrosiveness gloom smarminess marsupiality fragmented withered comotose insensate fried breached stung stewed bruised bit testy sulfurous peppery waspish piqued jaundiced petulant plagued nettled badgered needled peeved pothered chafed infested molested hectored rankled skittish qualmish haggard galled bedraggled played-out piqued riled faint combustible griddled etherized recursive narcous hebetate square-toed esculent cross-wise carcinogenic spiny plathered life-celibate tooty impacted ululant stridulous dried-out galled agog glazed frostbitten discombobulated blissless rifled smoking footsore I heartily It is appropriate that I I wish to Allow me to It gives me great pleasure to It is an honor to I would like to Duty demands that I It was a total suprise It is truly astonishing It was shocking to think It's totally wild It's really radical It's hard to believe It blew me away I'm ecstatically nonplussed Yeah! It's all downhill from here! E PLURIBUS UNUM. Just don't ask for money! But can you juggle? Like wow! You know where to go! Good job! Maybe not though. Eschew obfuscation! Way to go! Nice going, so keep going! You devil, you! Most refreshing! Mazel tov! A total mind-blower! May Allah smile upon you. unprecedented unique unheard-of first-class fine excellent splendid admirable first-rate marvelous tremendous wonderful superb inspirational incomparable unparalleled principally particularly notably especially extremely rather mildly somewhat unusually expressly abnormally uncommonly strangely curiously uniquely peculiarly awed amazed astounded mesmerized delighted moved impressed pleased thrilled excited discombobulated enthralled radicalized jived-out ecstatic jazzed as opposed to in spite of in the face of in the midst of competitor's opponent's adversary's competition's rival's foe's opposition's enemy's congratulate compliment commemorate honor cheer salute applaud celebrate commend endorse acclaim extol eulogize glorify nominate toast developments results performance achievements feats exploits accomplishments triumphs successes efforts deeds victories conquests attainments exhibitions ways seconds minutes hours days weeks months seasons years decades centuries nights nanoseconds millenia eons moments light-years you for your I am by your our that your I also these past few Yankee ingenuity intestinal fortitude god-like presence divine guidance destructive abilities animal magnetism burning optimism use of strong language new hairstyle keen insight great wisdom natural odor crusade against reality fierce determination ability to wiggle your ears unparalleled virtue uncanny canniness unquenchable enthusiasm extreme level-headedness impressive zeal heroic attempts countless sacrifices irrefutable arguments superfluous relevancy brilliant deductions elusive wit mother-in-law offhand remarks electrifying personality supernatural powers stunning revelations exceptionally bad taste deliberate misinformation overblown budget thinly-veiled innuendos bizarre behavior incredible cash reserves outflanking actions questionable activities hired thugs ruthless spy network intentional sabotage new improved packaging undisputed authority fiendish plot calculated malevolence suprising alliances despicable actions claims to the contrary wild accusations desperate attempts all-around wimpiness twisted mentality willful wrong-doing lame excuses moral amnesia incessant prayers overwhelming superiority unfair advantage misguided conduct comments about you relationship with the President plans to leave the country criminal negligence carried the day put them in their place sent them to the funny farm put us on top could be so neato could bring us nirvana could be worth so much could ever be useful really put it in their face taught them a thing or three made them beg for mercy got you on television tore them to pieces made a profit did the job turned the trick put the thumbscrews to them didn't get you thrown in jail didn't make the headlines beat them into the ground made them laugh in your face put them to the torch didn't start a major war had them arrested got you an oscar made them pay for lunch gave us the upper hand let us take advantage of them toppled their dominant position brought them to their knees cost them their sanity put them out of our misery I am writing concerning the method with which you I am amazed at your contemptible deeds. Specifically, I am referring to the way you It is truly the way you I am shocked that you despite all efforts to reform you. This practice is completely and totally unacceptable There are proper times and places for these things, but is definitely not one of them! What could move you to such a performance Clearly, nothing is sacred to you, or you would never attempt this kind of thing , . ! ? a and You TO: FROM: your grace Your and especially your have left me This display of is the most example of I have ever seen. I demand that you cease this immediately or I will be forced to counter with the most I can muster. Your attitude towards this problem is When I brought this to your attention politely, you countered with I won't even mention your I have encountered a great deal of but never anyone with as much as you. While we're on the subject, I think it appropriate to mention that I consider your to be Perhaps you think that people such as I will sit still and let this continue, but I for one intend to fight until I am Has anyone ever had to suffer a like you perpetrating such without adequate compensation I will be forced to consider you a mere and nothing but a in conclusion, I feel you are a and I must advise you that I have notified the proper authorities about this situation! because you are just such a I will be forced to counterattack with the most extraodinarily measures. since you are a mere an abject apology, backed up by cold hard cash is an absolute necessity. I am writing concerning your belief that you have the right to It is truly the way you presume to I am amazed at the systematic persistence with which you pursue your misconceived license to I am shocked that you continue to despite all efforts to reform you. This practice is completely and totally unacceptable There are proper times and places for these things -- but is definitely not one of them! What could move you to such a performance Clearly, nothing is sacred to you, or you would never do this kind of thing I really get a charge I really get a thrill I'm sure you think it's a real turn-on I bet you still think I'm happy I get sick My brain gets zizzed My heart breaks My blood boils I really get off I feel like calling the feds I feel like losing it I go crazy I feel closed in I feel like we're in a bad movie I don't know where to turn I want to sic my dog on you I suppose you'd like I know you'd like I think everyone you know would like All your friends tell me you'd like Those people at work would like I read in your diary that you'd like I can see in your face that you'd like You can deny it, but I know you'd like Quit telling me that you need You just want You think you'd like I can't believe you'd want You'd love Something tells me you really want A huge bird told me you'd love Don't tell me how much you need Maniac, Weirdo, Ghoul, Cretin, Clutz, Nerd, Wimp, Shulka, Geek! Bird! Jerk! Dog! Scum! Creep! Idiot! Slob! Bore! Plant! Vagabond! Schmuck! Liar! Tramp! Dork! Bum! Conehead! Egghead! Frog! Fug-face! Lowlife! Goat! Worm Lip! Insect! Rat! Fish! Pea! Toad! Fool! Mother! Louse! Snake! Sneak! Freak! Dumbell, Spider! Slug! Roach! Goon! Goonhead! Lilypad, Clown, Chigger! Blimp! Fatso! Numnut, Bowzer! Mumzer! Flirt! Bagel! Drunk! Slime! Clumsy... Worm! Amoeba, Frump! Webfoot! Victim! Terrapin! Wreckage! Wasp! Vermin! T-Bone! Wart! Wiener! Walrus! Upstart! Tentacle! Wretch! Sot! Whippet! Vulture! Bug, Thief! Wombat! Whale! Waffler! Weed, Zygote! Twinkie! Weasel! Blip! Slop! Brine! Blurp! Slack!! Scorpion! Wringer! when you criticize me in front of my friends. when you flirt constantly with my best friend. when you tell me lies to save my feelings. talking to myself whenever we're together. listening to your constant putdowns. sitting through your endless sermons about my problems! tiptoeing around your temper tantrums. hearing you say one thing and do another. when you tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. listening to you try to run my life. when you "borrow" my credit cards. when you'd rather watch TV than me. when you complain all the time. when I hear you gossip about my friends. when I try to remember the last time you took me out. when I pay for all your bad habits. being stood-up. waiting by the phone for your call. when you make us late everywhere we go. seeing how tight you always are with money. seeing how unemotional, rational and analytical you are! when you bring your mother along every time we go out. when you constantly compare me with all your old sweethearts. watching the way you have your sister call to cancel our dates. when you spend all your money on your gerbil collection. when you always call me collect. when you fall asleep at the height of my passion! when you say reincarnation is my only hope. when you ask me to clean out your fish tanks! when you try to make me mad. listening to your steady diet of manipulative psychology. when you make me pay all your bills. you could afford me, you weren't a Scorpio, you weren't a Virgo, you weren't a masochist, you beleived in real magic, you weren't so possessive, I'd listened to my mother, you'd looked before I leaped, we'd met sooner, you'd followed my intuition, you had a sense of humor, you liked raw oysters, you'd shown more concern about the relationship, you'd learn to cook, you'd told me what you really felt, you could sing on key, you hadn't listened to your mother, you would use Scope, you used Dial soap, you hadn't tried that dating service, we weren't so young, we weren't so old, we could communicate better, you didn't have cauliflower ears, you could lose some weight, you could build some muscles, you were more adventurous, you could take things more seriously, you could stop talking for a moment and let me think, you had a more wholesome profession, you weren't so obstinate, you really knew what you didn't want, you believed in astrology, you'd seen a doctor first, you'd made your intentions clear, you were a vegetarian, you smelled better, you'd stop forgetting me, you weren't so wishy-washy, you had more patience, you could understand how lonely I've been, you really wanted to please me, you could have waited a little longer, you'd forget the past, you liked me as much as I do, you weren't so starry-eyed, you weren't so vain, you could earn a living, you were rich enough for the both of us, we were approximately the same height, you could reach my lips, we were the same sex, we weren't the same sex, you were worth trusting, you weren't so timid, you weren't so shy, you didn't remind me of stagnant water, you would leave your dentures in, you could stop flirting, you'd have given me a real chance, you weren't so cross-eyed and colorblind, you could remember my name, you didn't snore, we could interface better, gone native with you. sung Dixie for you. been your slave. won your heart. fulfilled all your desires! shown you how much I cared. recognized your net worth! sent you some real money. made millions for you. sent you a surprise! not had to fantasize. had some real fun! given you my keys. been more agressive! bailed you out sooner! saved face. forgiven everything. forgotten my fears. forgotten the past. opened up all the way! been able to pay my taxes. figured it all out. saved a lot of money. shot the moon for you! taken you for a ride. not gotten so ill! thought about marriage. played the odds. kept you from leaving. called off the the cops. stopped making fun of you. given up my other lover! to trade me in! one more roll in the hay! another chance - forget it! to try again - forget it! more money - no way! to see me crawl! to throw in the towel! to leave town fast! to call it a lifetime! to take my life! to tell me a thing or two! to straighten me out! to punch me out! to see me beg! to watch me squirm! to change me! to call your lawyer! a refund! to go home to papa! to see me fail! to call the police! to keep me under wraps! to lynch me! to tell me you still care! to pay me back! to snick my chi chi's! to stuff and mount me! to apologize! to trade excuses! to make my day! to end it all now! a small fortune! In the future write me c/o the embassy in Tanzania! Better luck next time! Quit criticizing me. Leave me alone!! I feel like you're ripping me off. We better call it off! It's all over, baby! I feel empty. I'm off to get full! Forget me, I'm no good! I'm having second thoughts. I really deserve better! Let's call it quits! Sit on it - I can't be bothered! Get the point? Beat it! My answering machine is sick of your voice!! It's just not working out - sorry! You're nothing but trouble, I'm through with you! Stop or I'll have my attorney stop you! This is the kiss-off baby! C0 20-25,32-45,87-109,26-31,59-86 C1 51-53,71,73-74,77,72,75,78-82,88,83,89,87,86,84-85 C2 55-56,65,57,67,58,69,59,70,60-64 C3 126,124,127-133,125,134-135 C4 94-98,100-102 C5 103-108 C6 114-138 C7 1-9 C8 20-25,32-45,87-113 C9 10-19,90-98 B52-54,56-65,67,69-85,88-89,94-95,124-125,127-132,135 L16 F0 B114,119 L7 F0 B113,118 L8 F0 B116 L12 F0 B115,117 L13 F0 B103,106-108 L16 F0,32 B133-134 L16 F0,30 B55 L16 F0,20,40 B50-51 L16 F0,15,30,45 B105 L4 F0,16,32,48 B96,104 L12 F0,16,32,48 B97-98,100-102 L16 F0,16,32,48 B86-87,126 L16 F0,10,20,30,40,50 B1-53,87-126,136-138 L16 F0 B59-86,127-135 L16 F0,20,40 ( 0-4 ... Text-blocks for each category ) ( 5-10 ... Fields for text-blocks on side 1 ) ( 11 ... Fields for text-blocks on side 2 ) 1 :